Chapter Fifty-Two: Madam Essence of Chicken and Thirteen Spices

"Do you have any further instructions, Master?" The two cooks halted, turned around, and bowed low, ready to kneel at a moment's notice.

Their hearts pounded with anxiety, fearing that Lu Hu was dissatisfied with their cooking.

"Gentlemen, from now on, you are to be the exclusive chefs for our family. Would you be willing to accept this?" Lu Hu, in front of his future father- and mother-in-law, appeared particularly refined and courteous.

Our family? Our family! The god has already counted himself as one of us. Quan Dounan and Little Guanyin felt intoxicated with joy...

With a thud, the two cooks knelt to the ground. "Thank you, Master, for your favor. We are more than willing."

To be handpicked by the Prince was already an honor. To serve as the god's chef—what a rare fortune, surely earned over countless lifetimes!

They resolved to check whether the ancestral graves were emitting auspicious smoke—no, there was no need to check; they knew for certain smoke must be rising, perhaps even the tombs themselves set alight in joy.

If the graves weren't on fire, they'd set them ablaze themselves. Such glory for the ancestors could not go unnoticed! Let them all rise from the earth and celebrate together...

Lu Hu nodded and continued, "Since we'll be spending so much time together, you should each have a proper name. Otherwise, it would be awkward to address you."

"Master, we both have names. I am Ashina Tulufan—"

Lu Hu waved his hand to interrupt. "Your names are too long and difficult to remember. Allow me to give you something easier."

"To be granted a name by you, Master, is a great honor. Thank you, Master, thank you!"

Lu Hu looked at the sturdy Ashina and thought to himself that no wonder this lean cook bore a resemblance to Shi Zhenxiang—they must have descended from the same ancestor.

But to call him something like Shi Fragrant again? Absolutely not. That would spoil anyone's appetite.

"How about we call you Thirteen Spices?" Lu Hu recalled a well-known seasoning from his previous life.

"Fan of Spices! Excellent, it's perfect for me! Grilling skewers is all about fanning the flames for flavor. Thank you, Master, for bestowing such a fine name. I shall be known as Fan of Spices." Thirteen Spices kowtowed repeatedly in gratitude.

Lu Hu turned to the other cook, a fair and chubby man with a certain effeminate flair. An idea struck him: "Your name shall be Madam Essence. How does that sound?"

"Madam Essence—wonderful! I am as lively and clever as can be! Madam Essence it is. Thank you, Master, thank you!" Madam Essence's plump face twisted into a coquettish expression.

"No need for such formality." Lu Hu was thoroughly pleased with himself, thinking he was truly brimming with wit and learning. With just a spark of inspiration, he had given the cooks two remarkable names that, in his former world, would have made them internet celebrities.

Those names were simply impeccable.

"The Ashina family is truly thriving and formidable," remarked Quan Dounan thoughtfully as the two cooks took their leave.

His words were aimed at Lu Hu.

Little Guanyin replied with disdain, "What of it? No matter how many wolves there are, they can't match a single tiger."

As she spoke, she cast a seemingly casual glance at Lu Hu, her deep blue eyes filled with ingratiation.

"You can't say that. Every member of the Ashina clan is cunning and unruly, fierce and bold. They hold power throughout Xilot. Even the prince's cooks are Ashina men—there's nowhere they don't reach," Quan Dounan said, giving his foolish wife a discreet kick under the table.

Lu Hu pondered: it was true that the prince's cook wasn't an ordinary position. In these times, common folk were lucky to fill their bellies; being a royal chef meant eating well and avoiding hard labor outdoors.

But this was only natural—when one person rises, even the chickens and dogs ascend. Everyone with power looks after their kin; who wouldn't want to give their distant relatives a share of the light...

Receiving a kick, Little Guanyin immediately understood her husband's intent. "That's true. Even a tiger can't withstand a pack of wolves. The Ashina family has become a force that can't be ignored in Xilot. It won't be long before the entire steppe bears their name."

"It's not so serious," Lu Hu said indifferently. With his divine weapon at hand, what did it matter how many Ashinas there were? They would all have to show proper respect.

"But it really is that serious, Master," Zhu Xiaoying chimed in, her mind full of crafty schemes. The situation was clear—sooner or later, Master Lu Hu would become Little Guanyin's son-in-law. It wouldn't hurt to show allegiance early.

Noticing Lu Hu's puzzled look, Zhu Xiaoying cast a flattering glance at Little Guanyin and said, "Thirteen Spices always throws his weight around because he's from the Ashina clan. He bullies Madam Essence with all the hard work, beats him at the slightest provocation, and treats us just as harshly. Isn't that right, Lihong?"

She even sought a witness.

Ma Lihong gritted her teeth. "Exactly. Every time the Left Wise Prince—no, I mean, that servant Sun Zi—finishes his meal, any leftovers are taken to the back. Thirteen Spices never lets us touch them until he's picked out the best bits for his dog. Only then can we eat."

"He also constantly pinches our cheeks and squeezes our behinds. If we refuse, he spits in the food and throws it away so we can't have it," Zhu Xiaoying declared brazenly, serving up a juicy scandal.

Since she could never become Master's woman, she would at least show him she was not unwanted—plenty of people coveted her!

"Really? Madam Essence is so fat and Thirteen Spices so skinny, but I always thought the good food went to Madam Essence..." Lu Hu mused. He knew full well the two of them were always trying to seduce him; he'd barely escaped their traps several times. If Thirteen Spices dared pinch their cheeks and squeeze their behinds, it was surely because they had started it.

Flies do not land on an uncracked egg; if an egg is beset by flies, there must be a flaw. It's no perfect egg.

"Oh Master, don't be fooled by Madam Essence's size—he's just naturally plump, gaining weight just by drinking cold water," Zhu Xiaoying pleaded on Madam Essence's behalf.

"Master, Thirteen Spices may look thin, but he's all muscle and insatiable when it comes to food. He'll even leave halfway through a meal to relieve himself, then return and keep eating—the best bites always end up in his mouth," Ma Lihong recited like a comic.

"Ugh, I can't eat anymore..." Quan Pearl tossed aside her golden spoon, her little brows furrowed.

Seeing the displeasure at the table, Zhu Xiaoying seized the chance to belittle Ma Lihong: "Lihong, stop talking nonsense. We're all eating here—how can you bring up such disgusting matters?"

"Ugh, I don't want to eat anymore either." Quan Meiyu gently laid her spoon on the table.

Little Guanyin's brows arched in anger; she wanted to scold them but thought better of it. After all, they were Master's servants—it was for him to discipline them, not her.