Chapter Five: Why Don’t I Just Marry the Princess?

As he dropped down again, his stomach was pressed painfully.
Damn, being tied to a horse like this is worse than torture—are they trying to kill me?
Fortunately, after only a short run, the horse was pulled to a stop.
Lu Hu was lifted up and placed on the saddle.
Having spent a while upside down, his head was spinning, and he nearly vomited.
But he could still sense it was Yanali who held him.
That soft, warm embrace made Lu Hu giddy with delight, intoxicated: "Thank you, Princess. Your beauty is unmatched in the world, and your kindness is beyond compare. Why not just marry me to you?"
"You scoundrel, how can you be so unserious? You can't go a few sentences without making trouble," Yanali scolded, giving him a gentle tap with her riding whip.
"Ouch, that hurts! Are you trying to murder your husband?" Lu Hu, his head covered and disoriented, still couldn't resist teasing her.
"Oh? Where did it hurt?" Yanali's tone was full of concern.
"Ouch, my mouth hurts—kiss it and it'll be better," Lu Hu whimpered, playing cute.
"Get lost! If you keep showing off, I'll let you chew the horse's backside. Giddy up!"
Yanali snapped the whip, and the horse sped off at full gallop.
After another two hours of jolting on horseback, Lu Hu, listening intently to the sounds outside, sensed that they had arrived at the Oronte encampment.
Suddenly, his vision brightened as the sack over his head was pulled off.
The sunlight gleamed off the snow, dazzling and blinding; his eyes saw only a crimson haze, tears streaming down until he adjusted.
All around were houses built of logs, people coming and going, busy with their chores.
Everyone was clearing snow from their doorways and paths with wooden shovels and brooms made of bundled pine branches, paying little attention to their arrival.
Yanali lifted Lu Hu from the horse; someone took the horse away to tend to it.
They walked along winding alleys, stepping on paths cleared through the snow.
Not far ahead stood a tall, round log house, reminiscent of the great halls from his previous life.
This must be the palace of King Davo, sovereign of Oronte.
Oh my goodness, the palace guards on either side of the main gate weren't armored soldiers, but four fierce, broad-striped white tigers.
Two on each side, standing at their posts, evidently accustomed to the role.
These wild folk—so audacious—raising tigers as house cats, and using them as guard dogs to watch over their home.
The four tigers were lazily lounging, but when they saw the bound Lu Hu, they immediately perked up, glaring with their huge eyes, baring their teeth, emitting low growls.
Drool dripped in strands from their jaws.
What the hell, do these mountain bumpkins feed prisoners to their tigers regularly? Now they're eyeing me hungrily, but I'm not so easily devoured!
Despite his bravado, Lu Hu was deeply fearful, instinctively edging closer to Yanali, no longer daring to act tough.
"Hey, brat, don’t get so close to my sister, or I’ll strangle you," Yanali’s brother scolded fiercely, his eyes brimming with jealousy.

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"Brother-in-law, why are you so meddlesome? Should I not stick close to my dear wife? Or would you rather I stick to you? That could lead to real trouble—accidents might happen," Lu Hu, legs weak from the tigers' intimidation, still kept up his bravado around the beauty, his tongue sharp as ever.
"Who’s your brother-in-law, damn you! I’ll kick you to death!" Yanali’s brother lunged with a kick.
"Brother, what are you doing?" Yanali pulled Lu Hu behind her, glaring at her brother.
He immediately deflated, retracting his foot, his face switching to a fawning smile: "I didn’t do anything, just scaring this brat," he said, lifting the door curtain.
In this frigid land, people habitually hang a thick curtain over the door in winter to keep the cold from sweeping inside whenever the door opens.
Stepping inside, Lu Hu was stunned; he thought he'd entered a zoo.
At the far end of the hall stood a massive seat draped in tiger skin.
An old man, his face covered in a bushy beard, lounged lazily across the chair in a relaxed pose.
This old rooster, left arm around a tiger, right arm hugging a bear, with one bear and one tiger snuggling in his lap, vying for affection.
With such magnificence, he could only be King Davo.
Unbelievable! Davo’s pets—there’s nothing he can’t raise.
Around the seat were three more tigers and three more bears, pawing and nudging each other, half-playful, half-competitive, seeking their master’s favor.
When newcomers entered, the three tigers bounded over, agile and quick.
The three bears lumbered along, waddling slowly toward them.
The tigers surrounded Lu Hu, rearing up to rest their paws on his shoulders.
Lu Hu nearly wet himself, but he was too scared to even think of that. The tigers' open jaws sent waves of rank breath his way, making him gag and tear up.
King Davo and his son laughed heartily, teasing: "Look, has this dog been knocked up by the beasts? He’s definitely reacting!"
Yanali cursed, stepping forward to kick one of the tigers.
The tigers, seeing her anger, quickly withdrew their paws from Lu Hu and crowded around Yanali, rubbing against her clothes to curry favor.
Lu Hu had barely relaxed when the bears shuffled over.
Yanali let out a fierce shout, and the bears didn’t dare mess with Lu Hu; they turned away, swaying their huge hips toward King Davo.
"Kneel! Before our king, you must kneel in obeisance—are you tired of living?"
Well, meeting one’s father-in-law does call for a bow, a kneel, or the girl would never follow me so devotedly.
Lu Hu dropped to his knees, kowtowing loudly: "Your sinner Lu Hu greets the King! Long live the King!"
King Davo sat up suddenly, delight stretching the wrinkles on his face.
No one had ever shouted 'long live' for him before; Lu Hu’s cry made him so happy he nearly lost himself.
"Untie him, untie him! Quickly, free the boy. Seat him beside me, massage his arms to revive them, and fetch a bucket of tiger milk for him!"
Oh my goodness, the old rooster is so easily pleased! Just a slogan and he’s pacified.
Lu Hu leaned back confidently in the chair, taking the wooden bucket of milk and drinking.
These folks dare to raise anything—even milking tigresses. Such treatment is rare indeed.

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In his previous life, some wealthy people would drink questionable human milk and brag for days, as if their status had skyrocketed, puffing their cheeks like babies.
But here he was drinking tiger milk—no matter how rich, others couldn't get this.
Lu Hu was feeling smug, perhaps too soon.
He had barely gulped down two mouthfuls, yet to savor the taste, when King Davo’s son told his father who he was.
King Davo had been home during the last conflict, so he didn’t recognize Lu Hu.
Now, hearing he was the infamous killer, he flew into a rage, leaping to his feet with a roar.
The guard who’d handed Lu Hu the milk reacted instantly; seeing King Davo’s fury, he promptly abandoned all decorum, kicking Lu Hu’s chair out from under him.
Lu Hu, caught off guard, landed hard on the floor, the bucket flipping onto his face, soaking him in tiger milk, his mouthful of milk causing him to cough and splutter.
Yanali rushed over, slapped the guard twice across the face, then kicked him far away.
She bent down to help Lu Hu up, gently wiping his face with her sleeve, her eyes full of care.
Lu Hu smiled at her: "Good wife, baby didn’t get hurt, baby’s all right."
Calling her 'wife' in front of her father, he did have some sense of propriety left.
Yanali pouted, lightly slapping him: "Go sit over there."
King Davo and his son were dumbstruck by the scene.
What had their precious daughter eaten—ignoring tribal hatred and vengeance, now showing such concern for an enemy?
"My dear girl, that scoundrel killed so many of my children. He cannot be spared.
Come to your father—I’ll have my personal guards rip him apart."
It turned out King Davo called his subordinates 'children,' and regarded the tigers and bears as his personal guards.
"Father, Lu Hu killed our tribesmen, but each served their own master. Besides, we struck first—should he have just waited to die?"
"In battle, lives are wagered—if we lost, it’s because our skills were lacking. Now Lu Hu is here, he’s our honored guest. If you want to kill him, you’ll have to kill me first."
Yanali placed her hand on Lu Hu’s shoulder, standing close beside him, protectively shielding him, her face full of anger as she shouted at King Davo.
King Davo, stunned by his daughter’s defiance, blinked his old eyes, speechless.
Clearly, both the king and his son feared Yanali; Lu Hu felt emboldened, and, eyes darting, knelt again before the king: "Father, before we served opposing sides, your child acted out of necessity. Please forgive me this once; henceforth, I will loyally serve you, long live the Emperor!"
That last phrase made King Davo beam: "Well, child, stand up. Let bygones be bygones—everything starts anew."
What else could he do? Seeing his precious daughter’s attitude, she clearly fancied this stout, handsome lad.
Perhaps it had gone further, maybe she was already expecting a child.
Ah, let it be—rain will fall and daughters will marry; let them follow their hearts.
Suddenly, Lu Hu let out a howl.