Chapter Forty: No Moving Allowed

Yaxishi was bewildered, his mind in turmoil. “What are you beating each other for, what are you beating each other for? You are the ones who serve the Lord God; without you to care for him, there’s no point for me to live either.” He spoke in his honest, clumsy manner, then drew his waist knife and pressed it to his neck.

Are you all tired of living? Eh?

Lu Hu didn’t shout out that classic line from a movie of his previous life; he was afraid if he did, things would get out of hand. “Put down your weapons, all of you. If you want to vent, it’s easy, but once you do, you can’t take it back. Are you all unwilling to follow me?”

“We wish to serve the Lord God, to dedicate our lives to him,” said the maids.

“I wish to follow the Lord God, to serve him faithfully, through fire and water, unto death!” Yaxishi declared.

“Alright then, get back to your duties. Yaxishi, take the servant Sun Zi to the pillar and let him lean against it.”

Sun Zi, the servant, was pinned to the ground, his leg shackles heavy, unable to move at all. The head shackle weighed him down until he trembled all over, his back aching, legs cramping, sweat beads rolling down his aged face, yet he dared not utter a sound.

Leaning against the pillar, he finally caught his breath, his face wearing a submissive expression. “Lord God, ladies, please grant me a bite to eat. I’m hungry, so hungry, ooh ooh ooh!”

“You used to punish others by denying them food for three days, and only after barking like a dog could they eat leftovers. You never dreamed of ending up like this, did you? Stay hungry! If you dare speak again, you’ll get the whip.” Ma Lihong, carrying meat broth meant for Quan Dou Nan, was furious when Sun Zi begged for food and scolded him harshly.

She held the bowl beneath his nose. “You must be sick of these by now. Tomorrow morning, you’ll get a change of flavor—dog dung will smell heavenly to you.”

Sun Zi sighed deeply, closed his eyes, and endured his hunger in silence.

After the meal, the two maids summoned the cook to clear the dishes and brought in a wooden bathtub large enough to fit An Shizhu. They carried in steaming hot water, filling the tub trip after trip...

Lu Hu let them busy themselves, squatting on the floor with Little White in his arms, chatting with the small, burping fawn. “What’s your name, little one?”

“Hua Hua. I miss my mother, ooh ooh…”

“Hua Hua, don’t cry. From now on, I’m your mother. I’ll give you delicious food every day, alright?”

A mother is anyone with milk; Hua Hua nodded eagerly. “Alright, alright, mother.”

Lu Hu stroked Hua Hua’s fur tenderly. Little White in his arms became jealous, baring tiny tiger teeth and growling at Hua Hua, “Get lost, get lost, or I’ll smack you dead with a paw!”

Hua Hua didn’t understand Little White’s squeals. Now that she had a mother to protect her, why fear this little cub? “Shut your stinky mouth! If you keep yapping, I’ll ram you to death with my head!”

“Your horns haven’t even grown yet.” Lu Hu patted Hua Hua’s head and tapped Little White’s forehead softly. “Your baby teeth have only just come in.”

Imitating a mother’s tone, he told them in beast speech, “You’re playmates now. Play nicely together and don’t fight.”

He gathered the two little ones together, holding them close so they’d get used to each other’s scent.

“Lord God, let them play. You’ve been busy all day; it’s time for your bath.” Zhu Xiaoying knelt beside Lu Hu, reaching out to pet Little White and Hua Hua, her shoulder brushing against his.

The alluring aura of the beautiful maiden—no, the pseudo-maiden—was truly tempting. I must keep my composure, not let her breach my defenses.

Lu Hu stood, placing Little White and Hua Hua in the basket next to the tub, preparing to change clothes.

Zhu Xiaoying stuck close to him, Ma Lihong clung to the other side. “Let us help dress you, Lord God.”

Let go of your mischievous little hands; I’ll do it myself. Lu Hu hurried to undress on his own.

He wasn’t nearly as quick as the two girls; in the blink of an eye, he was stripped down to his last defense.

Lu Hu was startled, clutching his trousers tightly. “I’m used to bathing like this. If I take anything else off, I won’t bathe.”

“Oh my, Lord God’s rod is so long!” Ma Lihong cried in mock surprise.

Damn, does she have X-ray vision?

“So hard, so hard!” Zhu Xiaoying’s hand touched the electric baton strapped to his right forearm.

Damn, she made me jump out of my skin.

Lu Hu sighed in relief, unfastened the baton. “This is a sacred tool for the Lord God’s use. Don’t touch it, or you might lose your life.” He wrapped it securely in his shirt and placed it on the wooden chair beside the tub.

The two pseudo-maidens nodded repeatedly; they had no interest in the black baton, only in the Lord God himself.

Lu Hu lay in the tub, the water just right, soaking in bliss.

He closed his eyes, savoring the comfort of his skin immersed in hot water…

Ma Lihong knelt at the front of the tub, Zhu Xiaoying behind, each extending warm hands—one massaging his head, the other kneading his feet.

Such enjoyment! No wonder people of every age in his previous life loved to spend money on health spas.

The girls’ hands moved over his body, kneading, tapping, rubbing, their techniques skillful and well-practiced.

Lu Hu was kneaded until his bones softened, his tendons melted, his whole body in bliss, his mind drifting, entering a dreamlike trance.

“Hey! Hey, stop, stop! Ladies, please behave yourselves; your hands shouldn’t wander.” Lu Hu suddenly woke, hurriedly stopping them.

Playing on the edge was fine, but no other intentions were allowed; this was a line that could never be crossed.

“We wish to serve the Lord God in bed,” Zhu Xiaoying whispered, her eyes brimming with a thousand charms.

Ma Lihong was even more nimble; she was already untying her sash, exposing a shoulder, her plump flesh gleaming.

So tempting—it’s harder to look away than for an opium addict to quit.

Lu Hu gulped, forcibly suppressing the urge, not reaching out to touch.

“This cannot be. Absolutely not. The exclusive rights belong only to my beloved Yana Li,” Lu Hu declared with unwavering firmness.

The two pseudo-maidens’ faces fell. “Who is Yana Li? We’ve never heard of her, let alone met her.”

“She’s your goddess grandmother. If you dare to serve in bed and she finds out, she’ll send the mother-night demon to catch you and beat you to death, then feed you to the tigress.”

“Oh my, so vicious? That’s terrifying!” The two pseudo-maidens bit their silver teeth, giving up their bed-serving thoughts and focusing on the massage.

After serving Lu Hu’s bath, they busied themselves opening the great tiger-skin seat, which turned out to be a spacious bed.

It could easily sleep three.

“Lord God, let me warm your bed,” Ma Lihong said as she took off her top.

While Lu Hu was distracted by the scenery, she loosened her sash, preparing to remove her trousers.

Zhu Xiaoying, unwilling to be left behind, tore open her top in haste.

I’m not a bodybuilding contest judge; stop flaunting your bare skin and legs in front of me. If this continues, I might regret it for life. Do you expect me to…

“There are plenty of empty tents. You two get the cook to find another place; tonight you’ll have to make do and sleep in the cook’s bed.” Lu Hu squatted by the tub, bathing Little White and Hua Hua, decisively ending their hopes.

The two pseudo-maidens twisted their waists in reluctance, slowly putting their clothes back on. Once Lu Hu finished bathing the little ones, they helped dry them and served him as he carried them onto the bed.

Only then did they tidy up the tent, reluctantly slipping out through the back door.

“Lingering Five, take the two children and sleep at the rear entrance,” Lu Hu instructed the tigress Lingering Five to guard the back door.

Now they wouldn’t dare come in to take advantage of me; all this flirtation, and not a single protest of harassment.

Lu Hu played with Hua Hua and Little White for a while, then drifted into a deep sleep…