Chapter Twenty-Seven: You’re in Big Trouble

Lu Hu couldn’t help but sigh: Was my foolish father-in-law really so virtuous and esteemed? No, that’s not the right word—he wasn’t an entertainer, after all. Still, was my silly father-in-law truly so respected? People who knew him and those who didn’t were all weeping together, as if competing to outdo each other in grief. To be so cherished in life, one could die with no regrets.

But this endless mourning couldn’t go on forever. There had to be a way to stop it, especially for the delicate girl in my arms—I couldn’t let her cry herself sick. Gently stroking Yana Li’s back, Lu Hu transferred a soothing flow of energy, speaking softly to her as if coaxing a small child.

Gradually, Yana Li’s sobs subsided.

“Old Granny Du has rolled her eyes three times, Shi Zhenxiang is foaming at the mouth, An Shizhu is rolling on the ground, and I almost passed out—all of us wailing with you. If you don’t stop, how can the rest of us? But endless weeping won’t do us any good. We need to think of a way to avenge our old father.” Lu Hu exaggerated, mixing cajolery with a bit of mischief.

Yana Li lifted her tear-streaked, pitiable face to look at him. “I… I won’t cry anymore. Mm… mm-hmm…”

Lu Hu gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Everyone’s watching you, you know. A goddess should look like a goddess, not a bawling baby. How embarrassing.”

“I… am not… not a baby…” Yana Li protested, though her slender body was still quivering with aftershocks of sobbing.

Lu Hu teased, caressing her lovely face. “You’ve been curled up in my arms for so long—who’d believe you if you said you weren’t a baby, huh!”

Yana Li couldn’t help but giggle. She raised a tiny fist and punched him lightly. “You scoundrel! When did I ever nurse from you? Those pitiful little beans of yours aren’t even edible.”

Seeing her spirits lift, Lu Hu felt secretly triumphant, feigning shock with a goofy look. “Oh my, dear me! You really did nurse from me just now, or how would you know they’re only as big as beans?”

Then he lowered his voice, “My milk’s so tiny, must’ve been hard for you. If only mine were as big as yours—two juicy grapes. Sweetheart, I want to nurse too.”

Yana Li’s cheeks burned crimson. “You’re impossible! I’m not talking to you anymore!”

“Why not? I’m just thinking about our future babies. Their bowls will be so big, if I don’t develop mine, they’ll split their little lips trying to eat.”

“Stop making things up! Where are these babies’ bowls, anyway?”

“I’ll sing you a song, then. Composed by Luo Dayou, lyrics by Lu Hu—it’s really catchy.”

“Who’s Luo Dayou? And where’s all that meat coming from?” Yana Li was bewildered.

“Listen: ‘Ah, there are two grapes at the gate, so plump and tempting. I’ll hold my darling child, and everyone will have a hearty bite…’”

“Go away, you’re incorrigible! I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“You’re right not to talk to me. When I was little, they called me ‘Not Even a Dog Would Bother.’ You’re my wife, and you used to ignore me too—now you’re ignoring the dog altogether?”

“Are you calling me a dog, you big mule? You’re in serious trouble now—better find some regret medicine while you still can.” At last, Lu Hu’s mischief brought Yana Li back to her senses.

“Stop, stop, everyone, stop crying! Listen—what’s that noise above?” Lu Hu suddenly put on a look of alarm.

Everyone immediately fell silent, following his gaze and straining their ears for any sound from above.

After a long moment, Lu Hu pretended to relax. “Seems like nothing’s wrong—must’ve been my mistake.”

“Whew—” Everyone exhaled together, the tension easing from their faces.

“Granny, do you know what’s really happening over there?” Lu Hu quickly seized the moment to steer the conversation back to business. The train of grief had finally slowed, and he couldn’t risk letting it pick up steam again.

“I only heard what others said. That scoundrel son, that useless fool, started sowing discord. The brat Yakshi got into a fight with King Dawo and, in a fit of rage, accidentally killed his own father.”

Whether it was truly an accident or long premeditated, no one could say.

Once again, it was those bandit bastards stirring up trouble. Short in stature but wild with ambition, they could never settle in their tiny land—always running here to make mischief, fishing in troubled waters, dreaming of seizing my homeland.

Such people are always a little unhinged. Just a vicious young wolf forever dreaming of swallowing a mighty elephant.

Those starving wolves never seem to fear death—one wave chokes, another comes charging. Endlessly, wave after wave, until one or the other is destroyed…

In my last life, those bandits were just as greedy. Even now, across the Blue Star continent, they’re no better—perhaps even worse.

Once I’ve become a true hero, I’ll wipe those pests off the face of the Blue Star.

Lu Hu silently swore with gritted teeth.

“We’ll rest tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll march out and demand justice for King Dawo.” Lu Hu made his decision, resolute.

“Godfather, godmother, let’s recruit some men first. The more hands, the better.” Shi Zhenxiang, already longing to retake his homeland, saw a chance to gather troops and swell their strength.

There’s strength in numbers, and it makes a show of force. Lu Hu looked to Granny Du, wondering if the old fox would support the plan.

“I have thirty-one hunters. I can give you twenty. The other families nearby can contribute another thirty.” Granny Du was hedging her bets, with one foot in her own clan and the other with Lu Hu.

As for the Xilot clan, that ship was bound to sink. Better to help scuttle it and reap some rewards.

The hunters were raring to go—Lu Hu’s strength was well known. Follow the godfather, and you’d want for nothing.

“My family has much to do. It’s hard enough without strong hunters. I’ll take just six men. The rest should stay ready to answer our call whenever needed. Is that all right, Granny Du?” Lu Hu actually didn’t want too many troops. Larger numbers could provoke bigger clashes and lead to needless deaths.

With four of them, each with an attendant, plus two agile scouts to run messages, that would be enough!

Quality over quantity. A big troop eats and wastes too much—burdensome all around.

Granny Du beamed: This boy is thorough and considerate. My children and grandchildren won’t suffer following him.

Cheerfully, she picked out six strapping lads, the best in the clan.

The six chosen hunters were elated; those who weren’t picked looked crestfallen.

“Follow me and you’ll never go hungry. But your names are too long and hard to remember, so I’ll give each of you a new name—make sure you remember it.” As he spoke, Lu Hu pondered suitable names.

Two characters would do—short and powerful.

Names that carried weight, that would command respect—preferably ones that sounded intimidating, so everyone would behave.

Maybe something from my previous life…

“You’ll be City Lockdown, you’ll be Quarantine, and you’ll be Blockade. How’s that—pretty catchy, right? Got it memorized?” Lu Hu said, pointing at three of the burliest men.

“Godfather, we remember! Those are easy names. No matter what we’re locking down or blocking, just give the order and we’ll be the blockade.” The three burly men pledged their loyalty.

Lu Hu thought for a moment, then pointed at the other three. “You’ll be Investigation, you’ll be Crackdown, and you’ll be Prosecution. You’re the ‘Strict’ brothers. Think you can remember that?”

“We remember, we remember! Thank you for such impressive names, Godfather. However strict you want us to be, we’ll be strict—strict enough to wipe out those bastards.” The three nodded eagerly, proud of their striking new names, redolent of life-and-death authority.

“From now on, you do exactly as I say. I tell you east, you don’t go west. If I say catch a dog, don’t go stealing chickens. No mistakes—anyone who disobeys will answer to thunder and lightning.” Lu Hu glared at them.

“Yes, sir!” Eight voices rang out in unison, including An Shizhu and Shi Zhenxiang, their voices louder than all the rest…