Chapter Twenty: You Are Truly Beautiful

After more than twenty breaths, the horse finally started to recover, its convulsions gradually subsiding. Yet its whole body remained limp, as if stricken by a severe illness—its spirit sapped, its vitality gone.

Such was the power of the first setting; by this logic, the second would surely render the horse paralyzed, while the third might knock it clean off its feet, likely leaving its hide charred and its hair singed—utterly wretched.

“My apologies, old horse. Take your time recovering. Thank you! My thanks as well to my father, and to the original owner of this electric baton.”

Having witnessed its might, Lu Hu was elated, chattering away at the horse as he crouched to gently scratch its fur in a gesture of comfort. The warhorse stared back, terror in its eyes—wanting to flee, yet powerless to move.

After a while, certain the horse was otherwise unharmed, Lu Hu gathered up his precious device, whistled a tune, and headed back indoors.

“What took you so long? Did you fall into the latrine? I was about to organize a rescue party,” his father teased.

“Constipation, like a skinny mule straining to pass hard dung. I was just grunting away in the outhouse,” Lu Hu retorted, playing along.

His mother emerged from the inner room, issuing orders: “The bedding’s all set. My two daughters will share a room; you’ll sleep in Little Leopard’s room. He’s dead drunk, so keep an eye on him tonight.”

The family home had three bedrooms—one for the parents, and one each for the younger siblings.

Couldn’t they just make an exception and let me spend a wedding night with my wife? My mother’s old-fashioned ways were just too much.

Lu Hu dared not voice his discontent, obediently heading into Lu Bao’s room.

Lu Bao’s snoring was like a bellows, robbing Lu Hu of sleep. He ended up sitting up, fiddling with his electric baton, unable to put the thing down. Gripping it filled him with pride and satisfaction. Soon he would sweep aside all evildoers—no, he would electrify every demon and ghoul, bringing peace to the world. Who else could do it but him?

That pig An Shi Zhu was a spy planted by the treacherous Gao Gou. Tomorrow, he’d make an example of him—shock him till he howled, peed himself, and trembled all over, his fat flesh jiggling as he leapt in terror.

He’d tame him for sure. If he couldn’t win him over with one go, he’d keep at it until the man was utterly submissive—a loyal hound. He’d keep shocking him until the job was done.

With that, he drifted off to sleep, thoughts of his lovely bride Yana Li filling his dreams with springtime bliss…

…

“Up, up! The sun’s already high and you’re still sprawled like a dead pig. What on earth were you doing last night?” His father’s voice, distant and near, finally roused Lu Hu from his heavy slumber.

Bleary-eyed, he yawned, still half-asleep. “Oh, my dear father, please let me be. Just a little longer…”

“If you don’t train in the morning, the whole day’s wasted,” Lu Song persisted, shaking his eldest son.

“Oh, my good old dad, your beloved Bao tormented me all night; I barely slept. Just let me rest a while longer, just let me doze a bit…” Lu Hu mumbled, already drifting back to sleep.

The previous night, he had just fallen asleep when Lu Bao, parched, called out and kicked him awake. Lu Hu fumbled in the dark to fetch a ladle of water from the kitchen, which Lu Bao gulped down in one go.

No sooner had Lu Hu lain down again than Lu Bao demanded more water. Over and over, the cycle repeated until, finally, Lu Bao stopped complaining of thirst—only to start whining that he needed to pee.

Lu Hu had to feel his way to the outer room and fetch the chamber pot inside.

The drunkard could barely stand, swaying and clutching his “water gun,” spraying wildly. Lu Hu worried he’d make a mess, so he held him steady and helped him aim, fuming all the while.

No sooner had Lu Bao clumsily crawled back under the covers than he started demanding water again, then wanted to pee right after. Lu Hu spent half the night tending to him as if walking a particularly troublesome dog.

What a useless lout—if he were worth anything, I’d have sold him long ago, even for nothing, just to get rid of him. Then again, even giving him away would be a hard sell.

What a night—that was exhausting!

Lu Hu had just dozed off when—

Fwoosh! Lu Song whipped the covers off, letting a chill seep through his bones. Lu Hu curled up, still trying to resist.

Lu Song reached in to feel around the bedding. “Let’s see if you’re sprouting fur yet—don’t be scared, let’s check if it’s coming in.”

It was a familiar childhood scene: every morning, his father would wake him for martial arts practice by rooting around in the bed to rouse his sleepy son.

But he was just too tired—today, that trick wasn’t going to work!

“Hey, what happened to your precious box? Looks like it’s smashed,” his father exclaimed, feigning alarm to trick him.

Lu Hu was instantly alert, scrambling up to check for his battery. Last night, he’d stashed it at the foot of the bed, under the mattress, lest Lu Bao find it and cause mischief.

“This thing’s dearer to you than your parents or your wife—always close to your heart. Ha!” His father was quite pleased with his own cunning, chuckling as he teased his son, tossing him a backpack. “Pack it up, don’t lose your treasure.”

He then tried, unsuccessfully, to rouse Lu Bao, but the little drunk was dead to the world, grunting and wriggling, so after a few attempts, he gave up.

Yana Li had long since risen to help his mother prepare breakfast. The whole family waited for Lu Hu to join them at the table.

“Can’t you leave a couple days later?” Lu Song asked as he ate, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Lu Hu dared not look at his father, head lowered, shoveling rice into his mouth to keep anyone from seeing the tears welling up in his own eyes.

Breakfast passed in an uncharacteristically heavy silence.

What must come will come; what must go must go.

At the main gate, Lu Li clung to Yana Li’s sleeve, wailing, “Sister, don’t go! Stay home and the big donkey won’t leave either. Be my sister-in-law…”

Yana Li sobbed as well, gently cupping Lu Li’s face and kissing her forehead over and over. In a single night, the two girls had forged a bond, now reluctant to part.

Their mother, eyes damp, pulled Lu Li into her arms, while Yana Li knelt and bowed three times to Lu Song, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Lu Hu offered his father a deep bow, wiped his own face dry, then swept Yana Li into his arms and strode away.

They found their warhorses at the garrison’s stable, checked their tack and gear, then mounted up and rode straight to the courier station.

An Shizhu was there, brushing down his warhorse—a glossy, coal-black beast, large and powerful. For a man his size, only such a horse could bear the weight.

Hearing hoofbeats, An Shizhu turned, his perpetually squinting eyes suddenly lighting up. “Well now, where did this delicate young fellow come from? So pretty! If only that were a girl—she’d be a national beauty.”

So blinded by lust he didn’t even wheeze as usual.

As they fitted saddles and tack for the journey, An Shizhu’s lascivious gaze never left Yana Li, not even sparing Lu Hu a glance.

Lust will be the death of you, pig—just wait until you’re crying.

Lu Hu clenched his teeth. Even with Yana Li in armor and helmet, he was drooling. If he ever learned she was a woman, he’d lose his mind!

Though the main road was nearly deserted, the three nonetheless kept a steady trot as they left the county seat—warming up their mounts and watching for unexpected pedestrians or livestock.

Beyond the city stretched endless white fields, dotted only by a few lonely farmhouses.

They galloped along the official road. After a day of stifling confinement in town, Yana Li was finally breathing freely, her spirits soaring. She whipped off her helmet, flicked her riding crop at her horse’s haunches, and urged it on with a string of lively shouts. Her hair streamed behind her in the wind.

“Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!” Confirming this was indeed a beauty, An Shizhu was instantly energized, shouting and whipping his horse as he raced after Yana Li.

Lu Hu, electric baton hidden up his sleeve, spurred his horse to follow close behind.

After half an hour’s hard riding, the horses began to slow, their breath steaming and freezing into icicles on their long lashes, obscuring their vision and making them hesitant to run wild.

Yana Li’s cheeks were rosy from the cold, making her even more charming.

An Shizhu finally found an excuse to ride abreast with her, his head turned, eyes soaking in her beauty without blinking.

Yana Li flashed a radiant smile, lips parting in a lark-like, melodious trill: “What…are…you staring at?”

“I, I, I’m looking at you because you’re beautiful. Really, truly beautiful, just…so beautiful.” An Shizhu’s beady little eyes shone with unhidden hunger.

“If you think I’m beautiful, look all you want. Feast your eyes—but be careful you don’t get stuck and can’t look away,” Yana Li retorted, her pretty face suddenly frosty, An Shizhu’s gaze making her uncomfortable.

“I, I hope I never have to look away. In fact, I don’t want to look away at all,” An Shizhu replied, his words layered with meaning.