Chapter 70: Utterly Embarrassed

To avoid any suspicion and also not wanting to be disturbed by other teachers, Sun Yanzhen invited Huang Guolun to the top-floor food court of a popular mall near their school for lunch that day, choosing her favorite claypot rice.

During the meal, Sun Yanzhen shared her idea of having the class choir adapt ancient melodies with Huang Guolun: "What do you think? If our class performs choral arrangements of ‘Song of the Wine’ or ‘Man Jiang Hong’—those powerful classical works—it would surely stand out, right?"

Huang Guolun slowly ate the scalding soup meat, only replying once he had finished chewing and swallowed: "Works like ‘Song of the Wine’ and ‘Man Jiang Hong’ are stirring and heroic, but can your boys muster that kind of grandeur? If they can’t, choosing such pieces for the competition would be too risky."

Sun Yanzhen smoothed her ponytail, frowning slightly. "The boys in our class are athletic—they play basketball well, soccer too—but singing… well, I can’t really praise them."

"Then don’t pick songs like those; play to your strengths and avoid your weaknesses."

"Are there any famous classical poems suitable mainly for female voices?"

Huang Guolun thought for a moment. "Su Shi’s ‘Prelude to the Water Melody.’"

Sun Yanzhen’s eyes lit up: "‘May we live long and share the beauty of the moon, even if thousands of miles apart?’"

"Exactly, if set to music, it would suit a female-led choir quite well." He added, "Your class has Zhang Jing, who can accompany on the guzheng, and that student whose name escapes me but plays piano, right? With piano and guzheng for accompaniment, the effect should be excellent."

Sun Yanzhen laughed, "Listening to you, it sounds like this poem already has its melody."

Huang Guolun nodded calmly. "Yes, I’ve set it to music before. Personally, I think it has quite a flavor."

"Sing it for me."

Having just heard Huang Guolun sing ‘Alone on the West Tower,’ Sun Yanzhen was now very interested in his adaptations of ancient melodies.

Huang Guolun glanced around, declining with a smile: "This place is too chaotic for singing. Next week, once you’ve organized your choir, I’ll sing for them during rehearsal."

"Alright." Sun Yanzhen followed up, "How many girls and boys do you want in the group?"

"If the boys in your class don’t sing well, fewer of them—maybe fifteen boys, twenty girls. Try to pick boys with deep, resonant voices; skip those whose voices are too thin. If you really can’t find that many, ten to twelve boys is fine; the rest should be girls."

"Okay, this week I’ll carefully select the best candidates from my class. Next week, you’ll have to spare some time at noon to rehearse with them."

Huang Guolun gave her an OK gesture and then focused on his meal.

"You really eat slowly—not at all like Taozi. Actually, you seem to do everything slowly."

"What’s the rush?" Huang Guolun smiled. "A slow-paced life is the real enjoyment."

"That makes sense, but not everything is better slow."

"Such as?"

"Racing," Sun Yanzhen offered casually.

Huang Guolun laughed, "I’m not much for racing."

Sun Yanzhen teased, "If a group of people were chasing you to beat you up, would you just run slowly?"

Huang Guolun amended, "In that case, I’d run like the wind. I may like a slow life, but I’m not stupid."

Sun Yanzhen burst out laughing, took a few bites, and then, seemingly offhand, said, "Is your slow-paced lifestyle also reflected in how slowly you move on from feelings?"

Huang Guolun was taken aback, looked up at her, unsure how to reply.

"I’m just joking, don’t take it to heart." She said this, but her hand reached for the small red-capped vinegar bottle, placed it between them, and asked, "Suppose this is a button that could erase your memories—one press and all your pain and heartache would vanish, but you’d forget many other things as well. Would you press it?"

Huang Guolun frowned, thought for a moment, and mimed pressing the bottle cap. "I think it’s not so much about whether you would press it, but more—hey, here’s a button, let’s try it… hey, here’s a button, let’s try it… hey, here’s a button, let’s try it…"

Sun Yanzhen, half amused and half exasperated, brushed his hand away. "Be serious. Would you press it or not?"

Huang Guolun smiled, replying, "I’d rather not. If I pressed it and forgot even my family, it would be tragic. Wong Kar Wai’s ‘Ashes of Time’ said, the more you try to forget something, the more you remember it. When you can no longer have her, the only thing you can do is not forget her."

Sun Yanzhen nodded in understanding, suddenly feeling a bit envious of Huang Tao's real mother.

She dropped the topic of self-inflicted worries and happily chatted with Huang Guolun about her students.

Dining with the right person, both are genuinely happy.

This meal, Sun Yanzhen and Huang Guolun were thoroughly delighted, their conversation lively.

After finishing, they took the elevator downstairs, still chatting away.

There was no one else in the elevator. Sun Yanzhen confided an embarrassing childhood story: "I remember in elementary school, I’d often see essays by ‘Anonymous’ in books like ‘100 Excellent Essays by Primary School Students.’ I had no idea what ‘Anonymous’ meant, thought it was a person, and idolized him—he nearly became my literary inspiration. It wasn’t until high school that I learned the truth. It was so embarrassing. My classmates teased me about it for ages, and even now, whenever we have reunions, they bring it up to laugh at me."

Huang Guolun chuckled along.

Just then, the elevator stopped at the third floor.

Several guests entered, repeatedly glancing at Sun Yanzhen’s striking beauty.

She was used to such admiring looks, unfazed. With a pleasant, restrained smile, she stopped chatting to avoid embarrassing herself in front of strangers.

But Huang Guolun suddenly thought of something and asked, "You must have idolized the ‘Stars’ as a child too?"

Sun Yanzhen froze, not catching his meaning.

Huang Guolun laughed quietly, "The ‘Stars’ sing plenty of songs—no fewer than ‘Anonymous’ writes essays. Ha!"

Those nearby chuckled discreetly.

"You’re so annoying," Sun Yanzhen pouted and nudged him.

Perhaps she’d had too much soup for lunch, so her nudge wasn’t strong, but it landed right on Huang Guolun’s bloated stomach.

Pop!

To her shock, that nudge elicited a loud fart from Huang Guolun!

Sun Yanzhen was stunned, then burst out laughing.

She’d never seen anyone fart so loudly in an elevator.

They say loud farts don’t stink, and silent ones do. But the one Huang Guolun let out, thanks to Sun Yanzhen’s elbow, was both loud and foul.

Everyone in the elevator turned green at the smell.

Several people began fanning the air in front of their noses.

Huang Guolun was mortified. To salvage some dignity, he mimicked the others, fanning his nose and pretending nothing had happened.

Sun Yanzhen teased, "Drop the act, Mr. Huang. Everyone farts—it’s nothing to be embarrassed about."

Huang Guolun, thoroughly humiliated, wished he could pry open the elevator doors and bolt out.

Ding.

The elevator reached the ground floor.

As soon as the doors opened, everyone rushed out, casting disdainful looks at Huang Guolun.

One guy complained to his friend, "Did that dude fart out poop? Damn, the smell’s knocking me out."

Huang Guolun, with his sharp hearing, caught the remark and was beside himself.

Sun Yanzhen and Huang Guolun, standing in the back, were the last to leave.

As they exited, Sun Yanzhen was laughing so hard her waist nearly gave out.

Huang Guolun scolded, "Stop laughing. It’s your fault—why elbow my stomach right after lunch?"

"Haha, I’m not laughing at you. I just remembered a hilarious joke about farting. Want to hear it?"

"No!"

Huang Guolun strode off briskly, trying to put distance between himself and the mischievous beauty.

"You don’t want to hear it, but I’ll tell you anyway, haha," Sun Yanzhen chased after him. "It’s hilarious—a man goes to see a doctor, saying, ‘Doctor, I keep farting. They're silent but really stink… Oh, there’s one now, so smelly! Oh, two more! Doctor, what’s wrong with me?’ The doctor replies, ‘First, I can tell you for certain—you’re deaf.’ Haha, Mr. Huang, you’re just like the patient in the joke. Did you not hear how loud your fart was? I thought someone set off fireworks!"

Huang Guolun felt like clawing at the wall in despair. "Ms. Sun! You’re supposed to be a dignified lady—can’t you stop with these crude jokes?"

Sun Yanzhen laughed heartily, "Who says I’m a lady? Where did you see that? I never pretended to be one. I just enjoy myself—who cares if it’s crude or not."

Huang Guolun was utterly speechless. Sun Yanzhen’s thick-skinned, mischievous side was just like Huang Tao’s—no wonder the two got along so well.

…

On Wednesday night.

Huang Guolun, Old Lady Zhou, Bai Yao, and Huang Tao were having dinner at home in Purple Star Mansion.

Huang Guokun, who was busy preparing for the premiere of his new film, stormed in, hoping to crash their meal.

But that wasn’t his main purpose.

His real reason was to hand over thirty colorful promotional T-shirts for the new movie to Huang Guolun, asking him to distribute them to his students, so they could unwittingly help advertise the film.

Kunlun Culture had produced ten thousand promotional T-shirts for ‘My Fair Corpse’ this time.

Huang Guokun was leading the charge, handing out shirts to relatives, friends, and friends of friends.

He hoped that when the movie opened, more people would be out and about wearing their shirts, serving as walking human billboards for the film.

The idea was a bit silly, but if promoted well, it could indeed have some effect.

Upon receiving the shirts and seeing them, Huang Guolun could only laugh and cry…