Chapter 67: Why Are the Flowers So Red

“Classmates, the moment to test your acting skills is almost here! No matter how I sing later, you must all cheer for me, and do it with enthusiasm!”
Zhang Liang pointed excitedly at Cui Li and said, “Class monitor, you have to take the lead and act lovestruck! All you girls need to look completely enchanted by my singing, and the boys should clap as hard as they can! Just pretend you’re watching MJ brought back to life, alright? When I hit the climax, those of you who know the lyrics should sing along with me—that’s the only way to really heat up the atmosphere!”
Zhang Liang eagerly rallied the students of Class 5, Grade 2, encouraging them to play along and set up Huang Guolun.
They had already discussed this in their class WeChat group and had come to a consensus: they were going to coax Huang Guolun into singing for them in music class.
Zhang Liang promised everyone he would take the lead, swearing that if they followed his plan, they’d definitely rope Mr. Huang in.
Guan Qiangguo questioned, “Are you sure if we do this, Mr. Huang will sing for us?”
Zhang Liang rolled his textbook into a megaphone and rallied the class: “As long as everyone acts well and doesn’t break character, Mr. Huang will definitely sing for us! Just wait and see!”
Liu Zhongjie said dryly, “We’ll play along with your act, but if you can’t get Mr. Huang to sing, you’ll have to answer for it! You’ll make us all lose face.”
Zhang Liang gave his word, “Don’t worry, I can guarantee one hundred percent that Mr. Huang will sing! Just go with the flow. Oh, right, later you have to say I sound like Zheng Jun. If Mr. Huang asks, everyone must unanimously say I have Zheng Jun’s style.”
The boys and girls around him looked like they were about to gag.
Class monitor Cui Li was the first to object: “Can you not insult my idol? Even if Zheng Jun lost his voice, he’d still sing ten thousand times better than you!”
Guan Qiangguo chimed in, “Saying you sound like Zheng Jun is just not believable. Unless Mr. Huang’s deaf, he’ll never fall for it. Better to say you sound like Nicholas Zhao Si.”
Liu Zhongjie clapped and laughed, “Haha, that’s good! Later let’s all say Zhang Liang sings like the Asian King of Dance—Nicholas Zhao Si.”
The chatterbox Liu Lu egged him on, “Zhang Liang, you’d better dance while you sing later. That’ll definitely make Mr. Huang laugh. Once he’s happy, he’ll sing for us.”
Zhang Liang said anxiously, “This is serious, no more random suggestions! Just do as I say—that’s the only way to fool Mr. Huang! If you don’t follow my lead, this act is doomed!”
Guan Qiangguo retorted, “It’s doomed if we do listen to you! Getting us to say you sing like Zheng Jun—heaven itself wouldn’t stand for that! A few bolts of lightning will probably strike us all down, a real-life thunderstorm!”
Zhang Liang snapped, “Guan, stop making trouble! I haven’t even settled the score with you about my neck yet! If you mess me up today, we’ll settle that neck business once and for all!”
At that, Guan Qiangguo relented, “Alright, alright, we’ll risk our lives to play along just this once. Everyone, later just grit your teeth and say Zhang Liang sings like Zheng Jun, so Mr. Huang will sing for us.”
“That’s more like it! Classmates, you have to trust me this time! Water can carry a boat, capsize it, or even cook porridge. No matter how tough Mr. Huang is, as long as our act is convincing, we can cook his duck’s beak until it’s done. It’s all up to you! Just don’t break character and laugh!”
Bai Yao lay comfortably on her desk, her soft chest serving as a pillow, smiling quietly all the while.
She had known about the plan to set up Huang Guolun since it was discussed in the class WeChat group.
Yet she kept the secret and never told Huang Guolun.
Compared to their usually dull music classes, she also wanted to hear Huang Guolun sing.
If every week in music class Mr. Huang sang for them, wouldn’t that be fun?
With that thought, Bai Yao took the students’ side for once, ready to join in the prank.
Zhang Liang didn’t tell his classmates about the private deal he had with Huang Guolun—he planned to kill two birds with one stone: not only get Mr. Huang to sing, but also get out of future singing punishments himself. Ha! I’m a genius!
They say joy brings sorrow, but for Zhang Liang, joy literally brought shit.
Just before the bell, his excitement triggered an urgent need in his stomach.
He rushed to the restroom.
Sat down on the toilet.
Dropped his pants and let out a thunderous fart: “Bang!”
Every other boy in the restroom was startled.
But what shocked them even more was that, after farting, Zhang Liang immediately pulled up his pants and ran out.
A kid from the neighboring class who knew Zhang Liang was dumbfounded and called after him: “Liang, I really admire you. Even when you’re mortally wounded, you come to the restroom just to take off your pants and fart. Such class!”
“Get lost! I forgot to bring toilet paper!”
“Boom!”
All the boys in the restroom burst out laughing at the clumsy giant.
Back in class, Zhang Liang hurriedly grabbed an entire roll of toilet paper and rushed back to the restroom.
“Riiing—!”
Unfortunately, the bell rang just then.
“Ah! …Ugh! …Ugh ugh!!”
Zhang Liang was desperately trying to finish, but the more he tried, the more there seemed to be, and it just wouldn’t end.
“Damn it, if I ever eat donkey meat sandwiches for breakfast again, I won’t be called Zhang!”
He was on the verge of a breakdown.
His classmates were stunned when he didn’t return from the restroom.
The star had disappeared—should they still go through with the act or not?
Huang Guolun strolled into Class 5, Grade 2, tea cup and textbook in hand.
He immediately sensed a strange atmosphere.
Zhang Liang’s seat was empty.
Where could he be?
Huang Guolun set his cup on the lectern and began as usual: “Class is starting.”
Cui Li, the monitor: “Stand up!”
Rustling, the students rose at different speeds and greeted Huang Guolun in unison: “Good morning, teacher.”
Huang Guolun noticed odd expressions on their faces; some were holding back laughter, others seemed anxious. Nothing like their usual bored, poker-faced look.
What on earth was happening? The air even smelled weird…
Huang Guolun gestured for them to sit: “Alright, everyone, take your seats and let’s begin.”
Once they were seated, he glanced over at Bai Yao, hoping to glean something from her.
But Bai Yao looked calm, even smiling faintly—apparently nothing was amiss.
Huang Guolun decided not to overthink it, opened his textbook, and began, “Today we’ll talk about the ten most famous ancient Chinese melodies…”
“Mr. Huang, aren’t you going to wait for Zhang Liang?” Guan Qiangguo blurted out anxiously.
Huang Guolun looked up, “Where’s Zhang Liang gone?”
Guan Qiangguo replied indignantly, “He chickened out! He’s probably hiding in the restroom. I’ll go drag him out so he can sing for everyone.”
“Alright, go ahead. Tell him if he keeps hiding and doesn’t come to class, I’ll mark him as absent.”
“Got it! I’ll fetch him right away!”
Guan Qiangguo slapped his desk and dashed out to find Zhang Liang.
The moment he entered the restroom, he was nearly knocked out by the stench.
Pinching his nose, he scorned Zhang Liang: “What did you eat for breakfast—shit? Why does it stink so much?”
Zhang Liang, face flushed and straining, could only grunt, “Ugh—! Ugh—!”
Guan Qiangguo retreated to the doorway and urged, “Hurry up! Mr. Huang is waiting for you to sing!”
“Ugh—! Ugh—! Hey—! All…all done! Whew—!”
Zhang Liang finally finished, feeling half dead, quickly tidied up, washed his hands, and, like a dog, held the roll of toilet paper in his mouth, shaking water off his hands as he and Guan Qiangguo returned to class, grinning mischievously.

When they entered, Zhang Liang still had the toilet paper in his mouth.
The students all burst out laughing at the sight of him, neck brace on, paper roll in his teeth.
“Mr. Huang, I wasn’t hiding from you—I really had a stomachache and had to go to the restroom.” He tossed the paper to Guan Qiangguo, letting him take it back to their seats, while he himself stood by the lectern and whispered to Huang Guolun, “Does our deal still stand? If I sing well, you’ll… you know…”
“Of course it does. Hurry up and sing.”
Noticing the exchange, the students below assumed Zhang Liang was just tricking Huang Guolun into singing, and their spirits lifted, ready to cheer him on.
Zhang Liang turned to face them, sneaked a silly face to signal them to be ready, then opened his scratchy voice and began—
“Why are the flowers so red! Why are they so red?! Hey~~~~! Red as if, red as if they’re burning flames! It symbolizes pure friendship and love!”
To Huang Guolun’s surprise, Zhang Liang wasn’t nervous today; he sang with confidence, enunciating every word clearly and forcefully.
But his pitch was wildly off—it was as if the tune had gone wandering to the ends of the earth, and not a single note was right.
Not only was the melody wrong, but he imitated Zheng Jun’s vocal twists, sending every note straight into the ditch, the effect as grating as fingernails on a chalkboard.
The originally bright red flowers were rendered pitch-black by his singing.
Huang Guolun regretted ever letting this kid imitate Zheng Jun—it was a sacrilege to the classic!
“Well sung!”
But Guan Qiangguo was the first to lead the applause.
Suppressing their laughter, the students clapped for Zhang Liang.
Even Bai Yao smiled and applauded.
Seeing this, Huang Guolun felt a strange jolt in his heart!
What was wrong with these students?
Was there something wrong with their ears?
To such a performance, they actually cheered!
Buoyed by their applause, Zhang Liang sang with even greater gusto—as if he truly were Zheng Jun—
“Why are the flowers so fresh! Why are they so fresh! Hey~~~~! Fresh enough to make people, fresh enough to make people never want to leave! They’re watered with the blood of youth!”
Huang Guolun wanted to kneel in despair. Honestly, this had to be the worst rendition of “Why Are the Flowers So Red” he had ever heard, bar none!
But looking at the students’ excited faces, it was as if Zhang Liang had turned the song into a masterpiece!
What on earth was going on!
Huang Guolun began to doubt reality, doubt his own keen ears.
Especially when he saw Bai Yao watching with keen interest—it shook him even more.
Could it be… his legendary ears were failing him?
Was Zhang Liang’s singing actually good?
At the end, Zhang Liang, imitating Zheng Jun, began to shout: “Hey! Hey! Yiya ya! Yiya ya! Yiya ya! Yiya ya! Yiya ya!”
Oh, for heaven’s sake!
Huang Guolun was about to break down from Zhang Liang’s yodeling—this wasn’t singing at all!
This was nothing short of herding donkeys!