Chapter 58: Whose Mysterious Child?

Sun Yanzhen spent quite some time in the restroom touching up her makeup before emerging. As the guest of honor tonight, freshly made up, she appeared radiant and dazzling. Unlike the other girls who braved the cold in thin outfits, Sun Yanzhen wore a peach-pink lantern-sleeve princess blouse, its material flowing and form-fitting. Around her snowy white neck was a high, rounded collar, below which glittered a translucent emerald pendant. It was not ostentatiously adorned, yet lent her a fashionable, noble aura.

Her usual ponytail had given way to an elegant updo, giving her a touch of young Audrey Hepburn. She wasn't particularly tall nor did she have long legs, but the tailored white pants and matching peach-pink pointed heels gave her the illusion of a graceful, slender beauty.

Huang Guolun was stunned; it was the first time he had seen Sun Yanzhen look so striking. She, however, paid little attention to Huang Guolun, who was dressed plainly in the style of an old cadre and blended into the background. With a smile bright as spring, Sun Yanzhen strode toward the booth where Hao Qiang, Lu Rou, and their group were seated, assuming Huang Guolun had already joined them. When she sat down and asked, she realized he hadn't arrived yet. Turning to look, she finally spotted Huang Guolun sitting quietly in a corner, unnoticed.

With a smile and a playful frown, Sun Yanzhen rose and walked straight over to him. Huang Guolun stood up to greet her.

"Why are you sitting alone? Didn't I tell you to come over first?" she chided gently.

Huang Guolun smiled, saying nothing.

Sun Yanzhen was clearly in high spirits from drinking earlier; her clear, bright eyes shone with joy and a trace of intoxication. She paid no mind to his understated attire—it didn’t suit the occasion, but then, Huang Guolun was never the trendy sort, and even dressed up, he wouldn’t be the handsome type. In fact, she found his mature look even more pleasing.

She affectionately took his arm and pulled him into the midst of her friends. Anyone with a discerning eye could see from her attitude that their relationship was unusual.

Those men who secretly admired Sun Yanzhen, like Hao Qiang, felt a twinge of annoyance, wondering who this uncle was—her father? Why was she so intimate with him?

Lu Rou, always the outspoken one, stood up in her glittering, bling-bling miniskirt and laughed, asking, "Zhenzi, is this the Huang Teacher you told us about?"

"Yes, that's him!" Sun Yanzhen introduced him enthusiastically.

"Huang Guolun," he said, smiling, greeting the young crowd with a reserved nod.

"No way! So this is the low-key, talented, witty, childlike Huang Teacher?" Lu Rou’s tone betrayed her disappointment.

The guys burst out laughing.

But not everyone found Huang Guolun’s appearance lacking. Some of Sun Yanzhen’s close girlfriends, knowing he was a low-profile rich heir, were less critical of his looks. On the contrary, his understated, mature presence made them feel secure. This brief encounter already left them with a favorable impression.

Huang Guolun, however, felt nothing for these fashionable ladies. He was unfazed by their mixed reactions; to him, they were children, and he, the adult, would not bother with their opinions.

Sun Yanzhen settled him at the edge of the booth. She teased Lu Rou, "Are you drunk, Lu Rou? I said Huang Teacher was low-key and talented, and his son is a clever, funny little rascal. He’s no child himself. To all my single sisters here, let me introduce Huang Teacher’s son. He’s hilarious—anyone who becomes his new mom will spend the rest of her life waking up laughing from dreams!"

Her introduction embarrassed Huang Guolun greatly. Was she promoting him or his son? Clearly, she’d had a bit much to drink.

Ju Xiaohui joked, "Zhenzi, you like Huang Teacher’s son so much, why don’t you become his stepmom? Why push us into the fire pit—what’s your scheme, huh?"

Hao Qiang chimed in, "With Zhenzi’s credentials, how could she be anyone’s stepmom!"

Sun Yanzhen said coolly, "Don’t say that—I actually do want to be Taozi’s new mom, but unfortunately... Huang Teacher doesn’t fancy me."

She shot Huang Guolun a playful, sidelong glance; the atmosphere between them was unmistakably ambiguous.

Hao Qiang led the crowd in teasing, "Ooooh~~~!"

Lu Rou, blunt as ever, said, "It’s you who doesn’t fancy Huang Teacher."

"Ahem." Huang Guolun couldn’t take it anymore and cleared his throat, raising his glass. "Stop talking about me. It’s Sun Yanzhen’s birthday—let’s celebrate her. I was late, so I’ll punish myself with a drink... Happy birthday."

He downed his drink after wishing her happy birthday.

"You’re so late, you should drink three. We’ve already eaten the cake, but saved you a piece. Here, eat it and drink two more."

Sun Yanzhen, thoughtful as ever, worried about him drinking on an empty stomach, stood and handed him the last corner of the black swan cake from the table so he could eat and drink at the same time.

Hao Qiang raised his glass, "Zhenzi, I bought you this cake. Doesn’t it make you feel especially happy? You owe me another drink!"

Sun Yanzhen replied, "Eating your cake, I don’t feel much happiness, but plenty of heartache. It was so expensive—I feel like I’m eating gold, haha."

Hao Qiang declared, "For you, I’d buy the most expensive cake! You’re everyone’s goddess!"

"Just for that, I’ll drink with you again!"

Sun Yanzhen’s birthday was carefree; she accepted every toast as long as she was happy, though sometimes it was just pure black tea, not alcohol.

With the crowd’s encouragement, the group drank merrily.

Huang Guolun, seated among these young people, felt a bit out of place. Though he’d had some wine and his spirits were high, he wasn’t familiar with them nor interested in their topics. Gradually, he faded into silence, becoming a quiet presence.

Only when Sun Yanzhen and her girlfriends started talking about adorable Huang Tao did the conversation return to him.

Sun Yanzhen praised Huang Tao nonstop, piquing Lu Rou and the others’ curiosity—who was this child, and why did Sun Yanzhen adore him so?

She explained, "You don’t know how amusing Taozi is. One weekend, Huang Teacher and I took him to a parent-child center. They were teaching kids about safety. A teacher asked, ‘Which voltages are safe—1V, 6V, 36V, 110V, 220V, 3000V, 10000V? Which can you touch and which not?’ Taozi jumped in and said, ‘You can touch all of them!’ All the parents laughed, thinking Taozi was just silly, and the teacher was about to explain. Then Taozi added, ‘But some you can only touch once...’ Haha!"

A few girls laughed so hard at her story that they were instantly charmed by Huang Tao.

Huang Guolun could only smile wryly and drink. Whenever he thought of his son’s uncanny wit, which often left adults speechless, he felt helpless.

Ju Xiaohui exclaimed, "Huang Teacher, your son is so clever!"

Sun Yanzhen replied, "He’s not just clever, he’s super clever!"

Huang Guolun demurred, "He’s not always smart—he’s had some pretty embarrassing moments."

Sun Yanzhen laughed, "Exactly, Taozi does plenty of silly things. Huang Teacher, tell everyone about that time Taozi’s kindergarten went picking fruit."

She addressed the group, "I bet you’ve seen this story online—it’s actually Huang Teacher’s son’s real experience, later turned into an internet meme. It’s hilarious."

Seeing everyone eager for the tale, Huang Guolun recounted Taozi’s misadventure. The kindergarten organized a farm trip for the kids to pick fruit and vegetables. The children were delighted, gathering baskets of produce. Later, when they assembled, the teacher asked each child to wash their harvest.

Taozi’s teacher, Li Yuanyuan, went down the line: "What are you washing, Wang Xiaoshan?"

"I’m washing strawberries, teacher. I picked strawberries."

"And you, Li Yaxin?"

"I’m washing tomatoes, teacher. I picked tomatoes."

"You’re all wonderful! ... Hey, Taozi, what are you doing?"

Taozi replied indignantly, "I’m washing my cloth shoes—I stepped in poop."

After Huang Guolun finished the story, Lu Rou and the others were laughing hysterically. Sun Yanzhen was nearly in tears from laughter.

The women were drawn in by Huang Tao’s stories, growing ever more interested in this mischievous child.

Noticing the girls’ attention shifting to Huang Guolun’s son, Hao Qiang quickly changed the subject, asking Huang Guolun, "Huang Teacher, stop talking about your son. Zhenzi said you teach music in high school and write songs?"

To them, a high school music teacher, even if he wrote songs, couldn’t possibly write anything remarkable, otherwise he wouldn’t be stuck teaching in high school.

Sun Yanzhen perked up, telling them, "Huang Teacher is amazing at songwriting! During our school’s anniversary, he wrote a rap for the students—it was a sensation, and his legend still circulates in the school."

"Don’t flatter me. Legend? At best I’m a bit of a character. Haha," Huang Guolun said, feeling a bit tipsy and letting his modest pride show.

Hao Qiang, somewhat annoyed, pressed, "Is songwriting really that easy, Huang Teacher? I have a friend in music who says it’s just combining a few modes—it’s simple. For you music teachers, writing songs must not be hard, right?"

…

…

…

A few words at the end.

Recently, many readers have commented that there are too many jokes and anecdotes. I’ll try to control it a bit going forward. But I must say, I write these jokes to make everyone laugh—no need to fuss over it.

If I didn’t include them and just wrote dry dialogue, the novel would lose its charm. I simply want to write a book that brings joy.

Of course, adding these jokes is not only for fun, but also to flesh out the characters. Every joke is carefully chosen.

Some readers may have seen certain stories online and find them boring, but most haven’t. I can’t cater to everyone’s tastes; as long as the majority find it enjoyable and uplifting, that’s enough.

If you like what I write, read on happily. If not, go read another novel—I’m not begging for laughs, no need to get upset with me.

I wrote this book to bring joy, not anger. If my words aren’t your style, don’t force yourself—it’ll spoil your mood and make my novel lose its value.

Ten years ago, I was already writing jokes online. Some that circulate now originated from me and spread slowly. Some even made their way into films.

Some jokes may indeed be old, but if I find them fitting and amusing, I’ll use them. The book’s main focus is jokes and music.

I write jokes to make you laugh. For music, I hope to move you.

I haven’t written much about music yet, but soon I’ll devote a large part of the story to it. As with the jokes, I won’t casually insert songs. I’ll strive to make each song suit the scene, connect with the story, and give you enough imagination to appreciate their beauty.

Not every song will be a popular hit, but I’ll make each one shine, so you’ll truly remember them, not just skim past.

In short, I hope you have confidence in this novel, and I’ll do my best to make you fall in love with it.