Chapter 154: Rebirth

"Teacher Huang, could you sing Asan’s 'Loneliness is Singing' again?"

After listening to Huang Guolun’s "A Woman in Her Thirties," Cai Yafang was overwhelmed with emotion. It felt as though the outer shell of her soul had been stripped away, leaving her lonely feelings completely exposed to everyone.

Yet this direct strike to the heart also felt immensely warm and healing, as if her state of mind had been sublimated by Huang Guolun’s song.

Perhaps wishing to deflect excessive comments about the song—and about herself as a woman in her thirties—Cai Yafang immediately wanted to hear an even lonelier song, as if to "accompany her to the grave."

Since she was lonely, she might as well embrace loneliness to the absolute end!

Let there be a song that pierces the heart like a thousand arrows, and shoot her dead right here.

Before he had even fully detached himself from "A Woman in Her Thirties," Huang Guolun was slightly taken aback by Cai Yafang’s sudden request. He asked her, "Are you sure you want to hear 'Loneliness is Singing'?"

As if Huang Guolun had seen right through her innermost thoughts, Cai Yafang nodded stubbornly. She simply wanted to let this loneliness ferment even more thoroughly inside her.

The chubby Liu Xiaowei chimed in again, "Teacher Huang probably can't sing Asan’s songs, right? Asan’s songs all have such an ultra-unique texture."

Su Ling wished she could kick Liu Xiaowei right in the backside, and lowered her voice to lecture him, "Teacher Huang’s singing has even more texture, alright! Teacher Huang can sing loneliness into a poem!"

Hearing Su Ling’s high praise, Huang Guolun was left somewhat amused yet helpless.

Having just sung "A Woman in Her Thirties," following it immediately with "Loneliness is Singing" would be a bit too cruel to Cai Yafang. Although she had brought it upon herself, Huang Guolun couldn't bring himself to do it.

If he were to stab Cai Yafang with this knife, he would inevitably wound himself a thousand times over as well.

The moment he started singing that song, he would inevitably think of Chen Jia, and of that most lonely, heartbreaking, and agonizing period of time.

In the days immediately after Chen Jia left, whenever he heard a song like "Loneliness is Singing," Huang Guolun would feel a heartache as sharp as a knife cutting through him.

If he went out and heard some shop playing this song on the street, it would feel as though someone had plunged a knife into him.

This song, and songs of this genre, was not something Huang Guolun was willing to open up lightly, lest he scratch at his own scars and stir up the eternal pain buried deep in his heart.

Seeing that Zhao Yan and the others weren't trying to dissuade Cai Yafang, and seemed to want to hear the song as well, Huang Guolun frowned and said, "'Loneliness is Singing' is a bit too heartbreaking. Let me sing you its original version, 'Moonlight Flower'."

Zhao Jing was slightly bewildered and asked, "This song has an original version? Could this be a cover?"

Cai Yafang informed Zhao Jing, "That's right. The original tune of 'Loneliness is Singing' comes from the famous 1970s track 'Moonlight Flower' composed by the German New Age music godfather and founder of ENIGMA, Michael Cretu."

Zhao Jing said in extreme surprise, "The nineteen-seventies? Such an old song!"

Cai Yafang remarked with a touch of sophistication, "For classic melodies, time does not make them old; it only makes them eternal."

Taking his cue from Cai Yafang, Huang Guolun said, "Actually, the original version of this song fits the chanting, mysterious, and sacred character of the melody even better. Asan’s cover gave the song a strong sense of melancholy and plaintiveness, which is also very good. You've all probably heard Asan’s version, so now let's listen to the original."

With this conversational detour, Huang Guolun successfully turned away everyone's impulse to walk blindly down the dark path of pure loneliness.

Sitting at the piano, using a rare choral aria style, he sang the original version of the song, "Moonlight Flower":

……
Come with me in the silence of darkness / I want to show you secrets of life.
(I will lead you where dreams are rarely found) / (She rarely flies away in the night)
You're the moonlight flower / You're the voice of the night.
(When you call, I will follow you) / (We will journey far away to bliss)
……

Huang Guolun sang with a sacred purity, infusing it with a touch of religious flavor, hoping to use this song to cleanse people's lonely moods.

Yet because Asan’s cover version was so deeply ingrained in people's hearts, even without the sad lyrics, the moment the melody rang out, ripples of loneliness still stirred in the minds of Cai Yafang and the others.

Even Huang Guolun himself could not withstand the erosion of a melody that held such unforgettable, engraved memories for him. Gradually, his own mental defenses were pierced through by the song.

The further he sang, the more it sounded like an English version of "Loneliness is Singing." It felt as though he were wandering alone under the moonlight, seeking the guidance of gods, yet unable to shake off the pain of being lost and separated from his soulmate.

A lonely shadow pities the endless night; the endless night pities the lonely shadow.
Standing all alone, with only one's shadow for company.

Singing such a song, Huang Guolun’s heart began to ache faintly once again:

……
I have been to the heights of my senses / (Feel the touch of your caring hand)
(I have seen the wonder of the night sky) / (Until the sun rises in the sky)
You're the moonlight flower / You're the voice of the night.
(When you call, I will follow you) / (We will journey far away to bliss)
……

As the piano notes faded, the atmosphere of loneliness fermented completely throughout the coffee shop.

Huang Guolun’s ability to transmit emotions to those around him through music was spine-chillingly powerful.

Whenever his own mood turned painful, those who listened to him sing would have their hearts broken and their spirits plunged into sorrow.

Originally, once this tune was covered by Asan, it already possessed a deeply ingrained lonely attribute. When combined with Huang Guolun’s mysterious choral chanting, the magnitude of the loneliness suddenly surged geometrically.

A woman like Cai Yafang, who harbored deep-seated loneliness and depression within, finally got her wish. Listening to Huang Guolun’s aria, it felt as though she had been pierced by a thousand arrows and suffered ten thousand wounds.

Tan Shan and Han Yue appreciated Huang Guolun’s cover of this 1970s oldies track from a purely musical perspective, yet they found themselves wanting more, filled with endless sighs of admiration.

They increasingly noticed that this seemingly ordinary high school music teacher could handle any type of music effortlessly—he conquered them all!

It even gave one the impression that whatever musical style he touched, he reached the realm of perfection.

This was truly an extraordinary level of skill.

Unless blessed with explosive talent, an ordinary musician could never reach Huang Guolun’s all-around realm of being able to sing, play, and compose simultaneously.

Han Yue became increasingly willing to acknowledge that Huang Guolun was a musical genius.

Among the many musicians she had encountered so far, Huang Guolun might not be the absolute best, but he was definitely a rare breed.

At this very moment, Cai Yafang gained a profound understanding of why the Zhao sisters held this unassuming music teacher in such high esteem.

There were many flashy men in this world, and no shortage of substance without flash either.

However, a man like Huang Guolun, who began to glow the moment he touched music, was simply too rare.

This older brother was truly an irresistible musical genius!

Unlike Zhao Jing, whose internal monologue called Huang Guolun "uncle," Cai Yafang had long passed the age of acting cute. In her heart, Huang Guolun had transformed into an older brother whom she desperately wanted to get close to and understand better.

After "Moonlight Flower," Huang Guolun felt another tearing sensation rising in his chest.

To be honest, he didn't want to live in such constant pain.

Yet he was simply this kind of sentimental and nostalgic person.

He was equally helpless against himself.

Perhaps, until another major upheaval occurred in his life, he would have to live on with all these scars, in pain, forced to disguise himself as casual and content.

They say that without destruction there can be no construction, and rebirth comes only after shattering.

He didn't know how he was supposed to be reborn.

Yet he truly hoped he could be like a phoenix rising from the ashes, undergoing a rebirth through fire.

To smash through the window of pain and live out a new version of himself.

Filled with infinite emotion, Huang Guolun spoke to the two fans who had come because of him, and to everyone present: "My arm is a little sore. I'll sing one last song, dedicated to all of you, and also dedicated to myself."

Zhao Jing cleverly chimed in, asking Huang Guolun, "An original?"

"Yes, the name of this song is 'Rebirth'."

Huang Guolun said earnestly, "I hope each of us can be reborn from the ashes. This world is not as wonderful as we imagine, so we are knocked down again and again, and then stand back up driven by hope, belief, warmth, or the instinctive strength of being human. As long as the light of our ideals remains unextinguished, we will keep moving forward until we reach that beauty. 'Rebirth', I hope you like it."

Closing his eyes, holding up his sore arm, Huang Guolun began to play and sing the final—and most heartfelt—song of the night:

……
"Youth will not age / Love will not wither / All that beauty / Will never fade away"
"Because they will not be covered by white hair"
"Because they will not be buried by sorrow"
"Because whenever flowers bloom and leaves fall and change"
"Our eyes always flash with light"
……
"Ideals do not weep / Beauty does not sigh / How could we ever forget / The passions in life"
"Because they can be sublimated through suffering"
"Because they are never frightened away"
"Because whenever the bright moon and stars rise"
"People will dream"
……

Huang Guolun did not know that the original singer of this song was Jiang Xin, a woman inextricably linked to the lifeline of otherworldly Chinese rock.

A woman who met the best Dou Wei in her most beautiful years.

A woman who married Gu San'er, one of the best drummers in the Chinese rock scene, only to watch her husband leave this world in sorrow due to depression.

She had been young, down on her luck, and happy, yet she always remained passionately devoted to life.

When a sudden change in life instantly devoured the laws of existence she thought she understood and the paths she had built, the tender buds quietly sprouting on the bare branches of early spring woke her up once again, confirming anew—her life had never been meant solely for love or marriage, nor was it meant for sorrow; there was far more passion and joy within it, and they had always stayed by her side. How could she ever fail them?

This song, "Rebirth," was her masterpiece of rebirth, and also her second collaboration with Xu Wei after a decade.

This song resonated deeply with the mood of Huang Guolun, who had just visited a cemetery not long ago and had most likely suffered another major blow from fate.

As he sang Jiang Xin's "Rebirth" and Xu Wei's "Rebirth," he was also singing his own "Rebirth."