Volume One, Chapter Seventy-Four: Kun Kua

At these words, everyone froze.

It was clear that Jiang Yu was about to stir up trouble once again.

Backstage, the staff looked awkwardly at Director Yan Ming. “Director Yan, what should we do?”

Yan Ming’s face was bright with a smile. Jiang Yu’s performance today was simply over the top, and after today, Xu Kun wouldn’t be able to stay on the show anymore.

Now, Jiang Yu had practically monopolized ninety percent of the show’s attention. He might as well let Jiang Yu have his moment, let him vent—consider it compensation.

The flamboyant music began to play again.

The audience was stunned. In three seasons of “Idol Two and a Half Years,” no singer had ever performed two songs in a row on stage. No one expected Jiang Yu to sing twice consecutively.

Moreover, the melody was exactly the same as the previous song, “Exaggeration.”

What was Jiang Yu up to this time?

Wait, didn’t Jiang Yu just say this song was dedicated to Xu Kun...?

“If someone asks me, I’ll tell them: Brother Ge’s surname is Xu.
In 2018, he debuted as the center in the idol competition, with a middle part and suspenders.
My dear Kun is like a god I worship, haters just can’t imitate.
In a crowd, your flair stands out at a glance.
But Kun always causes surprises.
Like a sudden—ow!”

True fans of Kun would softly harmonize.
Wearing the darkest shirts, pretending to be so manly.
If someone comes to the door, remember to send them away!

…

“Pfft—!”

At this point, the audience couldn’t hold back anymore and burst out laughing.

“Hahaha, Jiang Yu, what on earth are you singing? It’s so hilariously rustic!”

“I can’t take it, he’s too funny!”

“This song won’t get a high score, but it won’t be too low either. I’m giving it a middle mark!”

“Amazing, every line is spot on!”

“Hahaha, ‘like a sudden ow,’ I’m dying!”

At the judges’ table, Xu Kun’s face instantly darkened.

Jiang Yu was ruthless, singing all his scandals right to his face—a direct hit!

There’s no one who bullies people like this!

In the contestants’ waiting area, Guo Qiang and Liu Bin were laughing so hard they could hardly breathe.

“Brother Yu is too much—he’s roasting him right to his face, and Xu Kun can’t say a word!”

“These lyrics, this punchline, it’s absolutely brilliant.”

Meanwhile, Wang Linkai, sitting beside them, was ashen-faced, his lips quivering. He hadn’t expected Jiang Yu to have such audacity—after all, this was a live broadcast.

How could he dare?

“Didn’t you say Brother Yu would fall into the abyss? Who’s in the abyss now?” Liu Bin noticed Wang Linkai’s pale face and started mocking him immediately.

But Wang Linkai had nothing left to say.

Guo Qiang scoffed. “What a clown.”

Jiang Yu went on.

“Take me as a Kun-praiser,
Exaggerating because Brother Ge is scared,
Middle part playing basketball—does that get attention?
Actually afraid of being forgotten, here’s a lawyer’s letter for you,
How can true fans bash her?
Does the world still praise Kun? It’s about to explode.
So polite, let me praise—are you the hater?”

Unlike the heartfelt emotion and stunning vocals of “Exaggeration,” this new song, “Kun-praiser,” had no technical tricks—only sheer emotion.

“I can’t take it, Jiang Yu is my lifelong idol! He wove together so many memes—he’s really brave!”

“Jiang Yu, how could you? Hurry up and apologize to your brother, or else we’re all done for!”

“Are you pan-frying with essence? Are you scooping rice with chicken wings?”

“Jiang Yu, you’ll ruin Brother Ge’s whole life like this!”

“Enough already, if you have the guts, go beat him up yourself!”

“Brother Ge? Your Brother Ge is already gone!”

Jiang Yu didn’t care at all about what was happening offstage. With a playful smile, he continued to sing with abandon.

“That year, Kun joined the school team, dribbling like a rookie.
Now he’s endorsed by the NBA, still needs my Brother Ge.
So many haters in the world—please, just let it go.
‘Done for,’ ‘chicken wing rice,’ the haters’ jokes are endless, dignity battered and bruised.
Kun eggs can cure hunger!

Never asked how many nests Brother Ge can lay.
How many lychees are there? Say more, it’s still wrong.
Are Kun fans like me deranged?”

Xu Kun’s eyes reddened, gritting his teeth as he glared at the figure on stage.

He spat out two words viciously.

“Jiang Yu!”

But at this moment, no one paid him any mind.

The audience was roaring with laughter.

Only a handful of true fans tried to defend him, but their voices were weak.

“The lucky ones are few.
Only Brother Ge could debut like Iron Mountain.
Ten times the effort, to be just a shrimp-head.
You all can forget about eating the eggs laid by Brother Ge!
Call me a Kun-praiser, I’m not afraid even with all the clucks.

Is that hysterical enough for you? Want to keep your hair?
A whole Kun-year isn’t enough.
Running a fever, still practicing basketball—hardworking enough?

…

Don’t forget Brother Ge is hoarse for you, cluck cluck—”

“Hahahahaha!”

The final anguished cry in the original was replaced with a ridiculous “cluck cluck,” sending the audience into a fresh wave of laughter.

“I’m officially a fan of Jiang Yu for life. This is amazing—he rewrote the lyrics live on stage!”

“Say what you will, but this creativity is unmatched in the entire entertainment industry!”

“How does his brain even work?”

Jiang Yu set down the microphone and glanced at Xu Kun. “Go back and tell Li Gang—we’ll see each other in court! And since there’s so much controversy online, I, Jiang Yu, am withdrawing from the stage of ‘Idol Two and a Half Years’!”

Then, with a wave to the audience, he didn’t even return to the contestants’ area but left straight through the backstage exit!

“Jiang Yu’s quitting the competition?”

“No way, he’s really just walking out like that!”

Everyone stared in disbelief at that domineering figure. They couldn’t fathom that a contestant would actually walk off the stage.

Backstage, Yan Ming heaved a sigh. Jiang Yu leaving the show was an inevitable outcome.

He’d threatened too many people’s interests.

He was too dazzling—so long as he was there, no one else would ever be the lead.

Most of these contestants were trainees groomed by agencies. Those companies had spent so much on their investments—how could they let them become money-losers?

So, while Starlight Entertainment took the brunt of the backlash this time, other agencies had joined in the storm.

Rather than bear the pressure, it was better to leave the arena altogether.

He’d already discussed this with Jiang Yu before—it was the best solution.

In the waiting area, Guo Qiang and Liu Bin felt some regret, but had to admit: this was the best outcome for Jiang Yu.

Others felt secretly relieved; Jiang Yu was like an insurmountable mountain, and as long as he was there, none of them could ever be the protagonist.

Some were left with mixed feelings. Jiang Yu’s departure was good for them, but the way it happened left a bad taste in their mouths.

Su Muyu smiled. With Jiang Yu’s current fame, he didn’t need this stage to build his popularity anymore.

“Director Yan Ming, I have other matters to attend to—I’ll be leaving now.”

By this point, the broadcast didn’t know how to proceed.

“Director, should the show go on?”

“Of course,” Yan Ming replied nonchalantly.

“But what about Xu Kun?”

“If he’s thick-skinned enough, let him stay. It’s not our responsibility.”

He’d refused to do live broadcasts many times, but when Li Gang pulled strings with the higher-ups, it was no longer his problem.

Xu Kun stood there, unable to sit or stand. He couldn’t leave now—leaving would mean admitting guilt. He could only grit his teeth and endure.

After all this, the audience had lost interest in the performances that followed, and instead flocked online to search for the truth behind the events.