Chapter 6: I Only Know How to Sing Funeral Songs

"Aconite poison—when it takes effect, it kills within ten seconds," Lin Yuan said, the corners of his mouth curling up as he patiently explained, "In ancient times, aconite was called Arrow Bane. Hunters would dip arrowheads in the poison, shoot their prey, and death would come swiftly."

"But don't worry," he continued, "the pill I gave you will remain undissolved in your stomach for seven days. Take the antidote within that time, and you'll be fine."

After speaking, Lin Yuan gave them a faint smile. It was a bright and cheerful smile, but to the three thugs, it looked as chilling as the grin of Death himself.

The three were terrified out of their wits and dropped to their knees with a thud.

"Boss, please spare us!"

They began banging their heads on the ground in desperate supplication.

Everyone watching was dumbfounded.

"What did I just see? Brother Wildcat is actually kowtowing to that young man!"

The food stall vendors were so surprised their jaws nearly hit the ground.

"Is he actually some big shot pretending to be weak?" gasped a nearby student.

"What on earth happened?" The passersby were utterly confused, seeing the three thugs bruised and battered, while Lin Yuan stood there unscathed.

"Go fetch the money," Lin Yuan ordered and returned to the food stall. "Boss, is my stir-fried noodles ready yet?"

"They're cooking, cooking!" the vendor replied hastily and soon brought over a steaming plate—piled high with extra meat.

Lin Yuan saw through the gesture but said nothing, burying his head in the food. After escorting the two girls around all afternoon, he was famished.

Soon, the three thugs returned, carrying a bag stuffed with cash.

"Here you go, boss!" Wildcat said ingratiatingly.

Lin Yuan nodded with satisfaction.

"Boss, about the antidote..." Wildcat rubbed his hands together, bowing and scraping.

"What's the rush? You're not dead yet, are you?" Lin Yuan slurped his noodles unconcernedly.

Wildcat was speechless—if they were dead, what use would an antidote be?

"Alright, pay my bill, then I'm off."

Having eaten his fill, Lin Yuan got to his feet and left.

As soon as he was gone, Wildcat's expression darkened.

"Let's go to the hospital!"

"Boss, do hospitals have the antidote?" one of the henchmen asked, puzzled.

"Weren't you listening? The poison's still in our stomachs. We'll just have the doctors take it out," Wildcat replied, feeling quite clever.

"Boss, you're a genius!" the two underlings exclaimed, finally understanding.

Several hours later, Wildcat emerged from the hospital, grinning smugly.

"Trying to threaten me with poison? In your dreams!"

He pulled out his phone and called Brother Long.

"Brother Long, here's what happened..."

He reported the day's events. When he finished, Brother Long was silent for a moment, then said,

"That kid's got some skills. Have someone look into him."

"Brother Long, my guys are still tailing the lady—he just went to the KTV to find her," Wildcat replied.

"Good. I'll have Tiger meet up with you. Make sure to teach that kid a lesson later. I have other matters to attend to—I'm hanging up."

Queen KTV.

"Miss you under your arms..."

As soon as Lin Yuan entered the private room, he was greeted by a cacophony. Glancing at the young man singing on stage, he realized he didn't know him.

The room was crowded with more than a dozen people, including Lin Shanshan and Zhou Xiaoyu.

Lin Yuan had just deposited the money and was planning to return to the villa when he was summoned by a call.

"Shanshan, why did you call him over?" Zhou Xiaoyu asked.

"He takes my paycheck—can't let him just laze around at home," Lin Shanshan replied with a light laugh, then beckoned Lin Yuan over. "Come here."

"What’s with this? What’s the connection between that guy and the campus belle?"

Everyone in the room was surprised by this scene.

"Don't get the wrong idea," Lin Shanshan explained. "He's my bodyguard."

Everyone knew her boyfriend was Jiang Hai's most eligible bachelor; she didn't want any misunderstandings.

"What? That guy's a bodyguard? He’s so scrawny—can he really protect the belle?"

"Haha, I could knock out a bodyguard like that with one punch!"

"That's hilarious."

The room erupted in laughter.

"Alright, enough," Zhou Xiaoyu cut them off. The belle’s word still carried weight, and everyone obediently fell silent.

"Country bumpkin, get up there and sing a song," Lin Shanshan said, a sly glint in her eyes.

Serves you right for making me split the bill with you—let’s see if I can’t make you cry tonight!

"I can’t sing," Lin Yuan replied helplessly. Why did this girl always want to embarrass him?

"I don’t believe you! Anyway, you have to sing a few lines, or... or I’ll dock your pay!" Lin Shanshan threatened, determined to see him humbled.

"Whatever," Lin Yuan replied, unmoved.

He had tens of thousands in cash now—what did he care about a mere ten thousand yuan salary? He was only staying with the Lin family because of his master.

"What kind of bodyguard is this?"

People around were dumbfounded. They’d never seen a bodyguard with such backbone.

"You! Fine, I’ll give you a thousand if you sing a few lines, how about that?"

Lin Shanshan felt mortified that she couldn’t even boss around her own hanger-on in front of her classmates. Hmph, just wait until she caught him slipping—then he’d be sorry! For now, money would have to do.

"Pay up first." A thousand yuan was still money worth having, in Lin Yuan’s eyes.

"Like you've never seen money before!" Lin Shanshan pulled out a thousand in cash and handed it to him.

Pocketing the money, Lin Yuan nodded in satisfaction. "Let’s be clear—I'm only selling my talent, not my body. One thousand per song."

With that, he headed for the stage. After searching in vain for an instrumental, he simply began to sing a cappella:

"At the auspicious hour, heaven and earth are opened..."

His rapid-fire delivery and peculiar lyrics left the audience bewildered.

"Every person is born with three souls and seven spirits, every ghost with a solitary shadow... The soul banner rises high, sending the departed to heaven!"

With the last line, the room fell eerily silent—so quiet it was unsettling.

"Isn't that a funeral dirge? The kind Taoist priests sing at wakes?"

A boy’s face froze. He remembered hearing this very song at his grandfather’s funeral, sung by a feng shui master to guide the soul.

"What?" At this, everyone got goosebumps. This was far too inauspicious!

"Damn it, are you cursing us to die, kid?"

A burly young man leaped to his feet, grabbing a beer bottle and glaring menacingly at Lin Yuan.

"Sorry, this is my trade—it's the only song I know. But if you have a bereavement at home, you can contact me for a soul-sending ceremony. Second one half price," Lin Yuan replied, not missing the chance to advertise his services.

Back in the mountains, he’d often come down to sing this song for funerals.

"F--- your mother!" The young man roared, storming toward Lin Yuan with the beer bottle raised.

"Zhou Haoran, don’t do anything rash!"

"Kid, you’d better run!"

Several boys rushed to hold Zhou Haoran back, then turned and shouted at Lin Yuan.

"Out of my way!" Zhou Haoran shoved them aside and, like a wild beast, lunged at Lin Yuan.

"Get lost!" Lin Yuan shot out his foot.

Bang!

Crash—

Zhou Haoran flew back a dozen meters, crashing into a table, then sliding across the floor before finally rolling to the wall, where his head met it with a resounding thud.

"Aaargh!" Zhou Haoran howled in pain before passing out.

A cold hush fell over the room.

How much force did it take to kick someone over ten meters?

A strange glint flickered in Zhou Xiaoyu’s eyes.

So he’s this strong—where’s the weakness everyone was talking about?

Suddenly, with a loud bang, the private room door was kicked open.

A burly man covered in tattoos swept the room with a murderous glare and barked,

"Who’s Lin Yuan? Get out here!"