Volume 1, Chapter 6: She Worried Her Grandmother to Death

When Xie Jiaoyue awoke, night had already fallen.

Candles were lit in the room, casting a warm, yellow glow. She raised her hand and waved it before her eyes. A dark shadow flickered, but she could only discern the vague outline of her palm. Her vision was failing.

"Second Miss, you are awake."

A crisp voice sounded beside her. Xie Jiaoyue turned to look, seeing only a blurred shadow; she could not make out the girl’s face.

"Who are you?"

"I am Zhiqiu, sent by the head housekeeper to attend to you."

Xie Jiaoyue looked toward the door, calmly accepting the reality of her failing eyesight. It made sense; this body was dying, so it was only natural for things to start breaking down.

"What time is it now?"

"It is already the hour of the Dog," Zhiqiu replied. "The Third Miss came by earlier to bring you some bird’s nest soup. I have it stewing now—would you like some?"

"No need," Xie Jiaoyue said flatly. "In the future, do not accept anything she sends. If you have already accepted anything, return it."

Zhiqiu murmured an acknowledgment. "You have injuries on your body, Miss. I have already applied medicine to the wounds; it would be best if you sleep on your stomach." Watching this unusually silent young lady, Zhiqiu tried to make conversation. She sensed a profound calmness and indifference in the girl, as if she cared for nothing at all.

Xie Jiaoyue gave a soft sound of agreement before saying, "You may leave. There is nothing for you to tend to here."

She recalled the two maids who had pushed open the ancestral hall door that morning. One had clearly taken a step toward her, only to retreat in timid fear. Everyone in this household was a sycophant, clinging to her mother while shunning her. She was the daughter her mother loved least, and the mistress these maids avoided at all costs.

As the maid prepared to withdraw, Xie Jiaoyue spoke from the bed: "Go back to the head housekeeper and find another mistress to serve. And tell her for me that I do not need anyone to attend to me here."

...

"She does not need anyone to attend to her?" Lady Xie said coldly. "Is it that she does not need service, or that she does not want anyone watching her? Is she trying to meet her lover in secret again?"

Three years had passed, and in those three years, her daughter had never revealed the identity of that wild man. She had not learned her lesson even after three years in the nunnery; the moment she returned to the manor, she was already plotting to meet a lover. It seemed her previous punishments had not been harsh enough.

"Mother Li, take ten maids to watch her. You must keep a close eye on her. If you see any strange man approaching her courtyard, beat them to death with sticks."

"As you command."

...

"Ten maids?" The Fourth Miss’s eyes widened. "On what grounds?"

"My sister and I only have four maids each. Why does she get ten?!"

The Fourth Miss stormed toward the small courtyard, only to see her older sister stopped at the entrance from afar.

"I know she does not want to see me, but just deliver this to her for me."

"If she refuses to accept my gift, then keep it a secret for me. Do not tell her this ginseng came from me."

Mother Li, standing in the courtyard, sighed. "Third Miss, why must you do this? My mistress will not appreciate your kindness."

"I do not need her to appreciate it; I only want her to get better. Mother Li, please go in and stew this ginseng to nourish the Second Sister."

"No!" the Fourth Miss cried out. "She cannot have this ginseng!"

"Sister! This is century-old ginseng, something you cannot buy in most apothecaries. Why are you giving it to that wicked woman?"

The Third Miss quickly covered her mouth.

"Keep your voice down, Xinyue. Don't let her hear you. Besides, she is not a wicked woman; she is our Second Sister."

"She is not! She is not my sister! She is a shameless, wicked woman! She caused Grandmother’s death!"

Standing by the door frame, Xie Jiaoyue froze. She had heard those words the moment she stepped out.

*She caused Grandmother’s death.*

The sentence was like a sharp dagger, pinning her firmly in place. It was indeed true; she had caused Grandmother’s death.

She had been pregnant. When the news reached the old woman’s ears, the elder, who valued reputation above all else, had passed away on the spot. It was only after Grandmother died that her grandfather had cast her out of the family. Her father had personally forced her to kowtow in the nunnery. Her mother had personally brought two bowls of abortifacient, watching her drink them down.

The medicine was bitter; the moment she drank it, her internal organs twisted in agony. Her lower abdomen, in particular, felt as though it were being torn apart by two hands. She had endured that wretched medicine for nine days until she was on the verge of death; only then did her mother relent. Ten bowls of abortifacient had buried her only child.

Xie Jiaoyue reached out, gripping the door frame. She had killed her own child, and she had killed her grandmother. The child was her own, but the grandmother had belonged to everyone. No wonder Xinyue hated her so, and her cousin despised her so.

Xie Jiaoyue stood there, her frail frame seemingly ready to be carried away by the wind. The Third Miss, seeing her outside the courtyard, flinched as if she had been caught doing something shameful. She immediately covered the younger girl’s mouth and whispered, "Enough, Xinyue, say no more. You will make Second Sister sad."

The Third Miss looked up at Xie Jiaoyue, then lowered her eyes, as if she dared not meet her gaze. She whispered, "I am leaving, Xinyue. If you do not follow me, do not blame me for no longer acknowledging you as my sister."

...

After saying this, she released the younger girl and turned to leave.

"Sister!"

Xie Xinyue stomped her feet, glared with resentment at the woman standing within, and departed in a huff.

Xie Jiaoyue leaned against the door frame. She could not see the younger girl’s expression, only hear her call out "Sister" before she vanished from the courtyard gate. She slowly lowered her eyes. "Mother Li, what did they come here for?"

"The Third Miss came to visit you, but I stopped her," Mother Li said, holding a wooden box. "This is the medicine the doctor prescribed for you. I will go and decoct it."

Xie Jiaoyue gave an acknowledgment and slowly looked at her. "What did the doctor say about my condition?"

"The injuries on your back are of no concern; as long as you apply the medicine carefully, you will recover in a month or two. It is just that your body is severely depleted and needs proper nourishment."

"Did the doctor say anything else?"

Mother Li looked at her curiously, then finally shook her head.

Xie Jiaoyue remained silent for a moment, then turned and walked back into the room. It was true—that person had said her foundation was ruined, though the shell remained intact. An ordinary doctor would not be able to tell.

Mother Li watched her desolate back and sighed. "Do not blame me for being meddlesome, Miss. Although the Third Miss lives in your former courtyard, her heart is good. Now that you have returned to the manor, it is only right that you grow closer to her."

Xie Jiaoyue paused and said slowly, "Very well."

Mother Li was her mother’s servant; this was surely her mother’s will. In the past, her mother had always told her that as the legitimate daughter of the Prime Minister’s household, she had no need to curry favor with anyone, not even her sisters. Yet now, her mother wanted her to lower her pride and befriend others.

Xie Jiaoyue gave a faint laugh. In the end, the stars had shifted, the seasons had changed, and everything was different.

...

"Miss, the medicine is here. Drink it while it is hot."

Mother Li handed it to her.

Xie Jiaoyue reached out and took it.

"Careful, it is hot," Mother Li warned.

Xie Jiaoyue acknowledged this, but after taking only one sip, she tasted something wrong.

"This medicine is different from the one this morning."

Mother Li forced a smile. "The doctor changed the prescription."

Xie Jiaoyue looked up at her, but no matter how hard she tried, she could only see a blurred figure; she could not make out Mother Li’s expression. She lowered her eyes and drank the medicine in silence.