Volume One, Chapter Four: Why Do You Treat Me So?

Xie Jiaoyue stood rooted to the spot, watching the arrogant Fourth Miss. She remembered that this was her own younger sister.

When they were little, her sister had been delicate and exquisite, like a pure white cloud, following closely behind her, sweetly calling out, "Sister."

"Sister, sister, auntie just made chestnut cakes! They’re so delicious, you have to try them!"
"Sister, I don’t want Qiujv to do my hair. Will you do it for me?"
"Sister, sister, Second Brother just made a new kite. It’s so beautiful and flies so high! When I grow up, I want to make one for you too!"

All the strength drained from Xie Jiaoyue’s body; it felt as if she were treading on soft, fluffy clouds. But eventually, the clouds dispersed, and she fell, shattered to pieces.

She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, a heavy darkness lingered in their depths. Her eyes were pitch black, as if they had lost their light.

“Xinyue, when did I ever chase you away?”
The little girl standing before her placed her hands on her hips.
“You did chase me away! Qiujv and the others all saw it!”

Xie Jiaoyue lifted her eyes to look at Xie Chengzhu.
“Cousin, would you believe her?”

Xie Chengzhu gazed at her and slowly said, “I know you harbor resentment, but you shouldn’t take it out on a child, your own sister. The weather is so cold; how could you bear to force her off the carriage?”

Xie Jiaoyue suddenly felt exhausted, but no matter how tired she was, she refused to give up.
“What if I told you I didn’t chase her away?”

Xie Chengzhu was silent for a long moment.
“When did you become so... habitually deceitful?”

Hearing those words come from his mouth, it seemed even he found it hard to believe. He couldn’t fathom that such a disgraceful description could apply to the sister who once shone like the bright moon in the sky.

Xie Jiaoyue stood stiffly in place as the cold wind swept over her frail body in gusts. She had changed. She used to be aloof and proud, never deigning to explain herself. Now, even if she explained, no one believed her.

Her vision blurred, losing focus. Unconsciously, she had become so humble—so humble that even she felt pitiable.

Xie Jiaoyue tried painfully to laugh, but the pain was too deep to allow it. Her heart and stomach ached so fiercely that she was rendered speechless.

That night, Xie Jiaoyue was locked in the ancestral hall by Xie Chengzhu.

The ancestral hall enshrined the honored ancestors of the Xie family. All of them watched silently as she was slandered without a word of defense. Three years ago, she knelt here out of shame and penance; today, only despair and numbness remained.

The candle in the ancestral hall burned out, plunging the cold, desolate room into darkness. Xie Jiaoyue knelt on the icy floor, her slender, frail back straightened like the delicate leg of a crane.

“Second sister, second sister.”
“Are you there, second sister?”

The door to the ancestral hall creaked open slightly. A girl clad in a rose-red cloak tiptoed inside, carrying a food box. With her other hand, she held a thin quilt and quickly placed the food box down, hastily covering Xie Jiaoyue with the quilt.

“I heard from Hongxiu that you came back, and as soon as you arrived, Second Brother punished you by locking you in the ancestral hall. I’ll go plead with him later to let you out.”

After covering Xie Jiaoyue with the quilt, the girl grasped her icy hand, her voice trembling with tears.

“How are your hands so cold, and why are you dressed so lightly? If Hongxiu hadn’t told me you only wore a single layer before going out, I wouldn’t have known you were suffering so.”

She hurriedly took some food nearby.
“I imagine you’ve been kneeling all day without eating. I brought you some porridge and snacks, still warm. Let me serve it for you.”

“Aru.”

Xie Jiaoyue lifted her eyes and called her name softly, though her voice was hoarse and weak, far from its former clear, cold timbre.

Third Miss Xie Ruyue froze in place, her hands clutching the lid of the food box, biting her lip, unable to speak.

“Three years ago, why did you tear open my collar in front of everyone?”

Xie Ruyue held the lid tightly, her lips trembling, but no words came out.

“I never owed you anything, nor did I bear you any grudge. Clothes, jewelry, invitations from noble families, the villa—you wanted any of these, and I never refused you.”

“Why did you treat me that way?”

Xie Jiaoyue raised her eyes to look at her, her tone void of hatred or resentment. She only sought a calm answer. She wanted to know why the cousin she had always cherished had stabbed her in the back.

“Because... because second sister went astray,” Aru’s voice was thick with tears. “I couldn’t watch you go down the wrong path like that.”

“The honor of the prime minister’s family has lasted a century, and grandfather especially values a woman’s reputation. How could you do such a thing, second sister?”

Xie Jiaoyue looked at her cousin, whose tears fell like rain on pear blossoms, and closed her eyes.

Three years ago, she had planned to break off her engagement with Li Lin after grandmother’s birthday banquet and seek a reputable name to travel far away—preferably to the south, where the spring grass grows lush and the orioles sing, the perfect place for a spring outing.

If that had happened, the child in her womb might have survived. She wouldn’t be alone; there would be a lovely little shadow beside her.

She would have loved him dearly.

But all of that was destroyed by those words: “went astray.”

“Go now.”

She no longer wished to argue with this tender, tearful sister.

“Second sister...”

Xie Ruyue knelt beside her, weeping,
“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know auntie would punish you by sending you to the nunnery, nor did I know you were already with child. I didn’t know... I didn’t know auntie could be so cruel...”

The woman’s sobs gave Xie Jiaoyue a splitting headache. She was so tired now that even speaking required great effort.

“If you truly feel sorry for me, then go. I want to be alone now.”

“Second sister...”

Xie Ruyue’s voice dropped low. She hesitated, unsure of what to say. Finally, she struggled to speak:

“Second sister, I’ve already told grandfather about how you pleaded with the Prince of Jingyang for the whole family.”

Xie Jiaoyue’s eyes snapped open as she stared at her. “What did you say?”

Xie Ruyue kept crying. “I thought that after grandfather learned about it, he would bring you back from the nunnery, but grandfather and auntie...”

“They...”

The cold, hard floor numbed Xie Jiaoyue’s entire body, the chill seeping into her bones and freezing her heart.

“How did they...”

She couldn’t finish the question.

How could she not know what they did?

Grandfather lived a life of integrity and righteousness, yet in the end, a woman had to sacrifice herself to protect his reputation. She could almost see the old man’s spine, straightened for a lifetime, shattered by her own hands.

Xie Jiaoyue slowly lowered her eyes. Grandfather surely hated her. Hated her for acting on her own and tarnishing his lifelong honor.

As for Mother, perhaps she simply despised her for being tainted.

The frail girl sank into her thoughts, unaware of the trembling eyelashes beside her.

Xie Ruyue’s hands clenched tightly at her sleeves, her heart and throat taut with the burden of her lies.

She hadn’t told anyone. To everyone else, Xie Jiaoyue was still the shameless woman who disgraced the Xie family’s reputation by consorting with others, not the legitimate daughter who sacrificed herself to save the family.

She dared not reveal the truth to anyone. It had taken her so long to possess everything that belonged to second sister; she was unwilling to give it all back to the woman before her.