Volume One, Chapter 15: She Was Meant to Be the Crown Princess

Inside the residence of the Prime Minister, Lady Xie stared at Nanny Li, who knelt before her, her expression one of utter disbelief. "What did you say? You say she went to the late Matriarch's grave to take her own life?"

"Yes, My Lady. The physician said the wounds on the young mistress's wrists were very deep. If the bleeding hadn't been staunched in time, I fear..."

"Fear what?" Lady Xie demanded, fixing her gaze upon the woman.

Nanny Li sighed. "I fear she would have followed the Matriarch into the afterlife. Seeing the young mistress's resolve, it seemed she was truly determined. My Lady, even if she has committed wrongs, the bond between mother and daughter is deep by nature. Please, show her more care."

"Do you think I have not cared enough for her in the past?" Lady Xie interrupted, her grip tightening on her handkerchief until her long, painted nails threatened to pierce the fabric. "I cared for her so deeply, and how did she repay me? She went out and found some wild man, and now she is with child!"

Lady Xie glared at her. "She is not merely slapping my face or the face of the Prime Minister's estate; she is slapping the face of the Crown Prince! If the Crown Prince were not so magnanimous, this house would be branded with the crime of deceiving the throne!"

What pained Lady Xie the most was that the daughter she had raised since childhood could have been the Crown Princess, perhaps even the Empress, a mother to the nation. But now, all of that had been ruined by Xie Jiaoyue’s shallow, vulgar greed for a fleeting moment of pleasure. She had been destined to be the mother of the Crown Princess, the most esteemed among all court ladies, titled with the highest imperial honors.

And now? Now she could only watch helplessly as another woman occupied that position, watching the glory that belonged to her be snatched away by someone else. How could she ever let that go? All her efforts of over a decade had vanished into thin air; how could she not be furious?

As dusk fell, candles were lit in White Pear Courtyard. Xie Jiaoyue could not make out the details of the candles; she could only see the flickering shadows cast by the pale yellow light. Her wrists were bandaged, and she leaned weakly against the headboard, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts. The world was vast, yet there was nowhere for her to belong. The world was expansive, yet she found no purpose to fulfill. She had things she wished to do, but time had run out.

What was left for her now? All she could do was repay the debt of her parents, using the past three years and the next six months to settle every ounce of the favor she had received.

"Young mistress, the Lady has arrived."

Xie Jiaoyue’s eyes trembled. A figure approached slowly from the doorway, stopped before her, and raised a hand to strike her across the face. The crisp sound of the slap startled both Zhiqiu, who stood nearby, and Nanny Li, who had followed behind. They both dropped to their knees in unison.

The stinging, numbing sensation on her face caused Xie Jiaoyue to lift her eyes slowly toward the person before her. In the darkness, her vision was blurred; she could not discern the expression on the woman’s face. But even if she could not see, she understood that the woman before her was likely consumed with rage.

She had been wrong. There was no rage on Lady Xie’s face; she was calm. All her fury had been swallowed by a tranquil sea, brewing a far greater and more dangerous tsunami beneath.

"You are angry," Xie Jiaoyue heard Lady Xie say. "You are taking revenge on me."

Xie Jiaoyue remained silent. She was not angry, nor was she seeking revenge. She was merely seeking release. But the woman before her stubbornly believed in her resentment.

Lady Xie looked at her coldly. "Not only did you use death to threaten me, but you dared to go to the Matriarch's grave and soil her sight. Have you forgotten that it was you who worried her to death?"

Xie Jiaoyue dared not forget. As she opened her mouth to speak, the Lady cut her off: "You are not worthy to see her."

*Not worthy to see her.* Xie Jiaoyue froze. She had always thought her grief was due to her unworthiness to face her grandmother, that she should go to beg for forgiveness—but she had never imagined that she had lost even the right to see her.

Her hands, hidden beneath her sleeves, clenched tight. After a moment, she whispered, "The Lady is right to rebuke me."

"Ha." Lady Xie laughed softly as she leaned in, then grabbed Xie Jiaoyue by the hair, forcing her to tilt her head back. "These past few days, you have always worn this look—the look of one who has suffered every grievance and expects everyone to beg for your forgiveness. It is truly detestable."

"Listen to me: no one in this house owes you anything, and no one has wronged you. Cast aside this half-dead expression. You are still the legitimate daughter of the Xie family, the face of Fang Rushi."

"On the Lantern Festival the day after tomorrow, you will appear before everyone in splendor. You will tell everyone, save for the Crown Prince, that the talented young lady of the capital has returned."

Enduring the pain of her hair being pulled, Xie Jiaoyue said calmly, "Lady, with these injuries, how do you expect me to appear in splendor before everyone?"

The wounds on her back and wrists could be hidden, but the bloodied scab on her forehead could not. Lady Xie looked at the scab, reached out, and touched it, her sharp fingernails tearing it away with raw force. Fresh blood spilled from the reopened wound, and Xie Jiaoyue’s brows knit together in pain.

Lady Xie released her hair and looked at the blood on her own fingers. "Nanny Li, fetch the Jade Skin Ointment."

Nanny Li immediately prostrated herself, knocking her head against the floor. "My Lady, you cannot! While that medicine can regenerate skin quickly, it is toxic. The young mistress’s constitution is already frail; she will not be able to withstand it—"

"I told you to go, so go! Why so much chatter?!"

Watching the enraged Lady, Nanny Li had no choice but to bring the medicine. Lady Xie took it, unscrewed the lid, and applied it bit by bit onto Xie Jiaoyue’s wound. The cold ointment stung like thousands of needles piercing into her bone. Xie Jiaoyue’s brows tightened, and cold sweat beaded on her forehead. Her breathing grew ragged, yet she struggled to remain calm.

"If I marry as you wish, will that settle the debt of my birth and upbringing?"

Hearing this, Lady Xie pressed her ointment-stained fingers forcefully into the wound on Xie Jiaoyue’s forehead, as if venting her spite. "Do you know what I despise most right now?"

Xie Jiaoyue was silent for a moment before answering, "You despise me." She despised the daughter who had been tarnished.

Lady Xie gripped her chin, her sharp nails digging into the skin as if to pierce the flesh and pin the bone. "Not despise—I hate you!" The Lady gritted her teeth. "Do you know that I should have been the Crown Prince’s mother-in-law, the most esteemed woman besides the Empress Dowager and the Empress? But you, with your own hands, have ruined the glory that belonged to me!"

Xie Jiaoyue paused, then said slowly, "My grandfather was imprisoned, and the Prime Minister’s house was standing alone against the storm. If I..."

Xie Jiaoyue had meant to say that if she hadn't gone to beg Xu Huaiyang to save her grandfather and the estate, her bond with the Crown Prince would have been a fleeting shadow anyway, destined to fade into nothing. But the Lady slapped her across the face, cutting her off.

"Silence!"