Chapter Forty-Three: The Diary of the Deceased

Diary 1:

It’s been a long time since I last wrote a diary. The last entry was more than a decade ago. It’s rather amusing to think about it—the final diary I wrote was on the day before my wedding. I was worried that, after getting married, my wife might discover things in my older diaries that she’d rather not know. So, once I finished writing, I burned them all.

Time flies.

Now, I pick up my pen again to write a diary, only it’s the first day after my divorce.

Ah, life is always full of helplessness. I’ve gone from the young man in my twenties to a balding man in my forties, who has to wear a wig every day just to muster up the courage to step outside and face others...

Diary 5:

Today is a heavy day. My mother passed away in the hospital, leaving this world forever. For her, perhaps it was a release—no more suffering, no more pain. But why didn’t she think of me? What am I supposed to do now...

My teenage son was granted to my ex-wife, and the mother who loved me the most has left as well. I have truly become the solitary figure people talk about... utterly alone.

Diary 11:

It’s been over three months since my mother died, and I handled all the funeral arrangements myself. Ridiculous as it sounds, I barely knew the basic procedures. Thankfully, the daughter of one of my mother’s old friends works in “one-stop funeral services,” so things went smoothly enough.

Many familiar faces came to the funeral—neighbors and friends my mother had known for years. It seems they’d heard about my divorce, so no one asked why Zhou Ting didn’t show up.

Instead, they comforted and encouraged me, urging me to let things go. I was deeply touched and grateful.

By the way, Xu Yang has put on a lot of weight, and his business is doing well. When he learned about my situation, he asked if I wanted to change jobs. Among all my relatives, this cousin is still the closest to me...

Diary 26:

I've finally made up my mind. I’m going to sell my house, leave this loveless place behind, and try to forget Zhou Ting...

Diary 41:

I’m back. Everything has returned. The old street looks just as it did in my memory, with the same people as before. It feels as if I’ve gone back to childhood. This is where I truly belong...

Diary 42:

Ever since I brought my mother to live in our old house, it’s gone years without anyone taking care of it. If I’d known her illness would worsen, I would have rented it out when I left, just so someone could look after it. Now, the place feels lifeless, with dust thicker than the soles of my boots. The two cleaning ladies I hired were exhausted...

Diary 56:

Lately, I’ve noticed an emaciated, deaf-mute old man living alone downstairs. Every time I go upstairs, he opens his door a crack and silently watches me.

I asked him why he was staring, but he just made unintelligible noises—I couldn’t tell what he meant.

Honestly, I don’t really want to talk to him; I’m just trying to cover up my fear. That old man is truly unsettling, especially at night. I often feel like he’s scraping something across the ceiling. Maybe he just doesn’t realize how much it disturbs my rest... Oh no, he’s at it again—the floorboards are creaking...

Diary 61:

That business with the deaf-mute old man has finally been resolved. Thankfully, the community manager brought in someone who knows sign language to talk to him. Otherwise, I would have lost my mind...

Li Can was utterly absorbed by the diaries, as if he were living another person’s life—one full of pain, sorrow, twists and turns, happiness, and the rich texture of real life. He couldn’t help but keep turning the pages...

Diary 86:

Today, I attended Old Ma’s son’s wedding, which reminded me of my own—kneeling on one knee before the bride, declaring vows in front of everyone. But who can guarantee that vows are never broken?

Old Ma said that now his son’s married, he and his wife want to move back to their hometown, so as not to burden the young couple—and to avoid the age-old conflicts between mother- and daughter-in-law.

He asked if I’d be interested in taking over his shopfront, offering it to me at a friendship price, below market value. I thought it was a pretty good deal. After all, the money in my account was just sitting there—I might as well invest it. I have a feeling this street will be redeveloped one day, and I might even make a little profit...

Diary 103:

I've been busy with the paperwork for the property transfer—what a torturous process...

Diary 107:

Does a person really have their own fate? Ever since I moved back to my old street, I feel like luck has returned to my life.

I bought Lao Zhang’s shopfront at a low price, and today, just after the transfer was complete, I ran into a young woman who wanted to rent it for a restaurant. Her name is Su Rui, and she’s quite pretty, full of drive and determination.

I agreed without hesitation, even giving her a three-hundred-yuan discount on the rent each month. I’m not sure why—I suppose I saw in her the hope for the future that I’d long since lost.

From now on, I can proudly call myself a landlord.

Diary 110:

With nothing to do today, I strolled around the Flower Field District, and by coincidence, bumped into Xu Yang. Turns out his renovation company is right next to the bus station there. They say there’s no better day than today, so we had a good drink together. As usual, he tried to introduce me to a new job...

Diary 113:

Su’s restaurant has been open for several days, but business is bleak. Seeing the worry on her face, I quietly suggested she find a new chef—the one she hired is mediocre at best, and not a good person either. If this goes on, he’ll drag the whole place down.

I hope Su can find some real talent of her own...

Diary 115:

I went to a job interview yesterday, and it went quite well. It’s a private school for small children. Luckily, I have a background in the humanities, which makes me a good fit.

But the school is impressive—the salary is twelve thousand a month, weekends off, full benefits, and a year-end bonus, better than what most white-collar workers get. I really am a lucky man...

Diary 116:

Something’s wrong, very wrong! Today was my first day teaching, and the children in class looked at me with cold, distant eyes—or at least that’s how it felt.

To bridge the gap between teacher and students, I designed some games for everyone, but not a single child joined in.

I brought up the issue with the principal, who criticized me, saying I was hired for academics, not for gym class. When he saw I was upset, he softened his tone and said the children at this school all have “special backgrounds” and I shouldn’t take it to heart.

But shouldn’t people with “special backgrounds” still know how to respect others? Especially their teacher...

Diary 134:

Today, while picking up teaching materials in the school’s basement level, I heard someone calling for help. It sounded like the cleaning lady. I followed the voice, but only saw a little boy running out from the corner of the stairs, hopping and laughing brightly.

Curious, I followed him, but then a man I’d never seen before appeared, asking me what I was doing there. He looked fierce, and his voice was as harsh as a broken bellows.

I stammered and couldn’t explain myself, so I turned and left.

But I could feel him watching me from behind. He kept watching, and the feeling made my skin crawl...

Diary 135:

It’s past one in the morning. I feel like there’s something outside my door...

“What happened outside the door?”

Li Can frowned. When he turned the page, he found nothing—no new entry. It seemed the diary had abruptly ended at entry 135.

And judging by the dates, there were only three hours between entries 134 and 135!

Crack...

Just then, a crisp splitting sound came from the bedroom, followed by a sharp thud as something fell to the floor...

(To be continued...)